A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a teenager and a boarder which means I live in the school. My situation is very complex but I would simplify it in here.I started to love a girl in my year a year ago during summer holiday and she is my first love. And I asked her out 5 months later on Christmas and it took her two weeks to decide to go out with him. However, she dumped me the next day. At that point, I thought I could forget her and move on.We are still friends after she dumped me but I rarely talked to her. I still love her as much as before she dumped me and she knows that. So 4 months after she had dumped me I asked her out again but failed completely. The problem is I still love her as much as before and I had ordered myself to leave her if she took a fancy to other men, but when I had discoverd she did love another man I couldn't persuade myself to leave her. And I had used nearly all the methods to forget my ex girlfriend but these methods are likely painkillers and did not help me to move on and sometimes I love her even more. The only good news is the man that she took a fancy did not love her. So, could you please tell me what can I do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Thanks for helping me and I will see what can I do.
A
male
reader, Cloverfield +, writes (11 August 2010):
 I’m sorry to say but the situation has already been decided for you. All you're actually doing is struggling to come to terms with it. She said no, & pretty categorically the second time from the sounds of it. You've just got to find a way of coming to terms with it. I'd advise avoiding contact with her as much as is possible. Every time you interact with her you're reinforcing the part of you that cares for her and prolonging your pain.
The stereotypical male response is to party & have plenty of casual sex, not an approach I'd recommend, but perhaps you can find some middle-ground.
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A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 I'd say be your own man, women get turned on by men who know who they are. Build up your own world and she will take notice of you eventually. You might also not be the guy she's looking for. I get that notion because she didn't wanna go on a second date, even months later. Though break if that's the case but hey you've got to live with it. Plenty of women you'll fall in love with in your life. You just have to have eyes to see it. The other girl of your dreams might be walking right past you each day and you would barely notice because your attention goes to that one particular girl. The only time you should think of one particular girl is only when she is your girl. Like I said, build up your life. Suddenly someone will pop into your mind and you'll have good luck in that. Love for this girl will fade. It only doesn't now because she's in your life 5 days a week. You get no time to get over her. So the hard way is to do it while she's right there but hey it's still a way. Focus on other things, focus on whatever else makes you happy, go do stuff with friends. It'll all work out. I hope you'll get over it sooner than later. good luck
remember, be your own man
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