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male
,
anonymous
writes: i need help im going with out with a girl that i love but i love another girl more and she knows but she is going out with someone too . if i tell my girlfreind it will break her heart what will i do xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (11 September 2006):
 No you dont love 2 people at once, its not possible, you may think you do but it aint so if not the whole world would have fidelity problems. Yes you may be fondof someone else, even fancy someone else, be sexually attracted to someone else, but you can only TRULY love one of them or neither of them. Now I am not saying you are a bad person, of course you are not and I partially agree with the anonymous lady who said that people are more sympathetic to a woman who had a similar problem, but what I would suggest you do is have a break from both of them for a while, you need to decide whichof the two you want, either one, or NONE of them, you cant love both, it never works that way. Best of luck. xXx
A
male
reader, jack23 +, writes (11 September 2006):
 I can understand where your coming from, and it is possible to love two people at once regardless of what anyone says, just because they havnt doesnt mean it doesnt happen.
I think the best thing you can do is have a break from your girlfriend and try to get your head straight. Another girl can seem appealing to you just because you havnt got her and someone else has. You may find that when away from your girlfriend, you miss her more than you thought and so feel more strongly for her.
It would definetly be worth find out how this other girl feels to give you more in depth knowledge, after all you could find yourself fighting a lost cause. I dont believe its a good idea to leave someone for another, but is better than cheating. Stop and think bout the future possibilities and try not to hurt anyone just to get what u want.
If it is true love either way then you can take your time and make sure you make the right decission, as there maybe no turning back.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): Why is it that when it is a guy loving two woman, he is made out as a bad person and suggesting that he is treating his girlfriend like rubbish? There is a similar question, from a girl loving two men on this website and she gets so much sympathy and understanding. Maybe agony aunts should leave their prejudices behind and realise that both guys and girls can have similar feelings!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): It's hard isn't it? I have been there myself before. It sounds like you really fell in love with the other girl and it feels impossible to control these feelings from happening.
It can be a wake up call that something is missing with your current girlfriend or maybe as you say, you just love two woman. I hope you can find comfort in the fact that all relationships will change with time, they are forever weakening or strenghtening and maybe in a couple of months the answer would be clearer to you? Don't rush things if you are not ready to do so. Maybe the other girl will leave her partner? Maybe she feels the same about you? Have you and her had an open conversation with her about what both your expectations/hopes are?
Best of luck to you and remember, you are not a bad person for this happening. It can actually happen to anyone. When passion strikes, life can become quite tricky!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): you havent decided yet it is as simple as that and you need to because the fork starts pretty narrow and broadens as you get deep into it .. hope you got the metaphor... if you didnt , all i m trying to say is obviously you cannot love two women at the same time what you are trying to do is save yourself from hurt.. but love is a synonym for hurt... isnt it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): Who do you see yourself happiest with? The first name that omes to your head, thats who you should be with. Dont mess your gf, or this other girl around. Decide before someone gets very hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): Make your mind up firstly, if you want this other girl then go for it or at least accept that your gf doesn't mean enough to you to not be interested in someone else!
Stop messing your gf about - what did she do to deserve such rubbish treatment. Irrespective of what your current gf will feel at you dumping her, in the long run it sounds like she's better off without you!
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