A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, I really don’t know what to do here. I’m 28, have been in successful career, slowly building up money for house, still living with parents. Recently I lost my job and it has been a month since I have worked. I am living with parents and it is really affecting me. My priority is getting a job, I am running out of time, I need to move on. Yet my daily problem at the moment is cleaning. I mean no matter what day and time it is, there is always a time my parents will be cleaning. I’m getting so fed up it’s driving me nuts.I’m looking for jobs yet they are concerned that they found some dust underneath the tv. But there’s no way out: at same time my gf of 4yrs is in another city, waiting for me to get a job because we can’t see each other until that. Her pay only covers her living and rent just about. If I ask for her to help, we argue. She cannot afford and I can’t let her stay hungry. So I don’t ask her. They are all making me feel depressed. I wish I could either be helped or left alone. I’m struggling to keep happy because of others but I know the problem is me. If I stay in my room my parents treat me like a kid, although I could b in there on my laptop doing applications. God I feel so young although I’m not, and I hit rock bottom. Not happy. Struggling to stay sane and not do anything stupid to take mind of things. None of my friends know, they got thier own issues.Sigh. Some days I am superman, my mental thinking is strong. Today however I don’t feel that. I’m worried I will lose that fight if things get too tough.. thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2018): You lost a job, and you will find another. This is part of the cycle of life. This is how destiny begins.
You are young, and you have to face these challenges and mishaps; because they build strength and character. The only reason why everything is getting on your nerves, is because you simply want to roll-up in fetal-position and give-up. You want the world to stop moving around you; so you can quietly surrender to defeat. Feel sorry for yourself. You wrote DC, because that's not who you are!
You develop tools for survival through losses, setbacks, and disappointment. It stirs-up your determination, and it makes you resourceful. You might not find a job tomorrow; but you will continue your job-search all the same. Be thankful for even the smallest of blessings. We don't realize how much we have unless we lose something.
Oh no you don't! Stop complaining! Be thankful you are not homeless!
You hang in there, my young friend; because you have skills, and you had a good job before. Have patience.
Destiny has decided it is time for a change of course. This is a test. Life is feast or famine. Not a person who will answer your post has not experienced what it is like to lose a job, and have to search for employment. I myself have lost great jobs due to layoffs, or downsizing. Yet I hung in there. I am a man of faith, and I pray a lot. I never give-up; because I don't lose hope over the small stuff. God has pulled me through the loss of several loved ones, threats to my wealth, and friends have betrayed and abandoned me. Yet here I am, to tell you that through all that; I can come here and give you support and encouragement.
If you have faith and worship, use it. If you don't believe in anything, and you are guided by your knowledge. Know this. You will overcome this, and it might take getting out there and actually walking into a place and asking to fill-out a job-application. Take advantage of temporary job-placement agencies. Register with them; so you will find temporary work to keep your job-skills primed and ready at all times. They will keep you busy; so there are no gaps in your employment-history that require an explanation in job-interviews.
A job-placement agency may also introduce you to your next full-time employer. Not to mention give you a chance to diversify or expand your job-skills and qualifications; or even find you a whole new career pursuit. Keeping you busy; with money to save for your future-plans and goals.
Keep the faith. It will turn around. Stay busy. Your parents are only being fussy; because they can sense and see the frustration growing within you. They know you, and they won't let you sit idle and give-up hope. They will keep that fight and fire going within you. They love you. Bear with them, as they bear with you! It's only temporary.
They have to stir and shakeup the nest, to keep you from becoming complacent and lazy. Just like eagle parents remove the soft down and cushy leaves from the bottom of their nests; so their fledgling eaglets become too uncomfortable to lie in it waiting to be fed. Instead, they decide to take flight! Mom and dad have been where you are now.
My young friend, you've got this! Even if you don't believe there is a God, I do; and I will put in a good word for you.
Press on!
Will you please comeback and let us know your progress? That would be great! We will continue to encourage you!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (20 September 2018):
 Losing your job can knock the stuffing out of the strongest of people, so don't be too hard on yourself for struggling to cope. Remember, this too will pass.
Like Honeypie, I too would strongly recommend either temping or, if that is not possible, doing some voluntary work. Absolutely ANYTHING looks better on a cv than a big gap. Having done quite a bit of recruiting in my time, I always get a very positive impression about someone who says "I was between jobs so temped/did voluntary work as I like to keep busy". It shows a willingness to muck in with whatever needs doing. Employers like that.
If you are having trouble finding work in your home town, perhaps widen your field to include where your girlfriend lives (if you feel you could have a long term future with her). That will automatically give you much more choice.
Good luck. I hope something comes up for you soon.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 September 2018):
 Just keep writing those applications, call and do follow up on the ones you already sent you.
If you have not done so yet, consider looking for jobs in the same city as your GF lives in? It might make it easier to spend more time together ONCE you get a job.
Try and set a routine. Don't sleep in until noon and stay up til 3 am. Have daily routine. get up, shower, eat and start looking for a job.
Go for a run/job/bikeride/walk/gym so you get out of the house, get some fresh air.
You might even consider a temp agency. JUST so you can DO something other than staying at your parents house all day (and it will pay too).
If you GF is in no place to help you financially, then accept that. But then SHE also have to accept that you can not come visit until you DO have a job.
WHEN you get a job, which hopefully will be soon. START having a saving account for rainy days.
It SUCKS to be unemployed but you WILL get another job, just keep at it!
Chin up!
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