A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 16 and my mum and dad have split up and im fine with that and i have a great relationship with both of them.my dad recently bought a new laptop and ive been on it every now and again but now im starting to get worried.i looked up the history on my dads internet and it came up with numerous sick porn sites. i know its natural for men to look at porn but this is just twisted.i dont want to talk to him about it because hes shy when it comes to that kind of thing. we never had that father-son talk about sex. should i confront him about it? i want him to stop looking at such filth. its not even respectable porn either. i just saw words such as large, big, fat, pregnant and asian and it disgustes me to even write it down :(im also cautious about what my 13 year old brother might be exposed to. bless him he doesn't know what a blowjob is and he thinks sex is gay (dont ask, i dont understand either :S )please help me before this problem escalates.
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female
reader, lotsofgiggles123  +, writes (23 May 2008):
 well you should probably confront him cause what if you 13 year old brother just goes on your dad's computer and see the sick sutff? i mean there is a chance that if he sees that it will take away the innocence he has left so yea i think you should confront him hope dis helps or ask him to keep the computer in his room so your bro does not see but i still respect the man i mean this can go either ways here either confront him or compromise works either way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwizard of waz makes a good point...
regardless, all of the responses have helped me so much and just for the records,
i enjoy being a male and intend to continue being a male :)
taaa
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Thanks Ms Anonymous for your helpfull advice. I'm sure the lad will take it and tell his father to get a prostitute or a wife to satisfy his sexual desires and urges.
Unfortunately this young boy will never become a young woman, unless he's neglected to tell us something and needs further advice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): tell dad its hard to believe he respects ANY woman when he uses porn and supports such a degrading industry...maybe he neeeds to be reminded that one day you will be a woman...one of the very same that he chosses to degrade through his porn use
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Thank you for your update. He really loves you, you know. I think your decision indicates that you will grow into a fine, non-judgemental and wise adult. Take care of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou everyone for all the advice. i guess i didnt treat my dad like a man before any of you people opened my eyes to what he deserves, thankyou :). i guess i was just a bit touchy on this subject cus ive always thought of my dad as the kind, innocent man that he is and i never thought about his needs, and privacy. i think that i will leave the history and accept that my brother is growing up, and if he does find an explicit site he will ask our dad, because i shouldn't be taking control at the moment, this is between my dad and my brother :)thank you so much for all the advice its been very, very helpful!
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 May 2008):
 Yes finding porn on your parents computer is quite awkward. I would advise not confronting him as he is a grown man who can look at whatever he wants. As for your younger brother finding it, maybe ask your dad to delete the history or tell him how to, or do it yourself. Don't think your dad is abnormal. I have found a few strange sites on my mom's computer that I tried to block from my memory, lol. Just don't snoop around cause on any man's computer you are likely to find porn of some kind, and some very odd at that. Lots of people look at all sorts of porn (someone I know watches horse porn which I found in their history). It is odd and twisted as you say but the inital shock of it is what is getting to you. You will get over it in time. So accept that your dad is a healthy single male and don't make anything awkward by asking him to stop viewing the sites. He has every right to and having his son ask him to stop would be humiliating. Good luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): Your dad is a single man. He's not ready to get married again, he dosen't want to date and introduce a new mother to you. But he's a man, he has sexual feelings and he needs some type of release.
You think it's disgusting, but it's not you looking at it, it's none of your businesss. Leave your dad alone, stop judging him. When your older you too will have secrets that you don't want your children to know. Your 16 years old, go and find your own woman. Your dad has a right to have his own hobbies and interests. You have no right to tell him what to do. Leave him alone.
Your concerned about your brother, fine. I can understand that. Have a quiet word with your dad. You don't have to tell him what you think. If you love him, you wont say anything that makes him feel ashamed and embarassed. Just tell him your worried that your brother may see this porn. Tell him to delete his history and be more carefull.
You are not his parent. You have no right to judge him. As the bible says "Judge not least ye be judged", "whosoever is without sin, cast the first stone". I'm sorry to say, (and I mean this no cause no harm) your very immature if you can get shocked by this. You are still a child and have no business passing judgement on this adult man. Support your father in this, help him keep his secrets, he's doing this for you. If you weren't in his life he'd be out having sex with real women. This is his answer, he's doing this to protect you, so go easy on him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): Well I'm sorry sweetie but serves you right for being nosy. Your Dad is a man just like any other, and what he does in his spare time is up to him, especially as he and your mother have split up. He has urges just like other men; just like you do. He's old enough to know what he's doing and as long as nothing he looked at was illegal (apparently not from what you describe) he's free to look at what he likes.
I understand you're concerned about your brother. You can delete the History folders from a PC. If you want to have that talk with your Dad then pluck up the courage and go for it, or delete the History and wait for him to ask you about it, then just say you were worried about your brother. At your brother's age if he's using the internet there should be some kind of parental filtering or supervision anyway, so it's unlikely he'd come across anything graphic.
On the plus side, with the amount of people who use internet porn sites, it'd be more weird for a single man not to use them. Take some solace in the fact that he's not depressed - he's getting over your mother by indulging his urges. Perhaps he will stop visiting them if/when he meets a new partner.
What you need to understand is that he *is* an adult who deserves to have his private time kept private, and that visiting porn sites is not a slur on his character. He's still your father and you still need to respect him as such.
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