A
female
age
,
*igkahunaswife
writes:My husband had an affair 3 years ago with my best friend of 30 years, I have since worked things out with him and I thought we were ok. He is now texting a women at work, has her pic on his phone hides his phone, locks his phone and keeps it glued to him. I confront him and he says i'm parinoid because she's married! Well so is he. I sent an earlier question that asked about his excessive texting to her and I just wanted to claify a few things.I am paranoid because of the prior affair, I don't see him much because of his hours, I just feel that over 20 yrs I have invested alot in this marriage and im getting screwed. The first 8 years of our marriage he as a verbally abusive drunk, we divorced and now he's been sober 10 yrs. Then the affair, then his depression now under control, now thing thing at work with this girl. I'm about done. He says he has things to sort out and I know we have things to work on but when does the hurt stop and how much more can I take. He's my best friend and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with but should I just let go. He wont be honest and I spend night after night wondering and worrying.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): What would life be like without him? That is something to really think about. If the answer is "not much different to what it is now - but without the fears" then what have you got to lose. To be undermining your confidence in the relationship once again after what he has already put you through is unacceptable at best. I think deep down you would like to leave but fear of the unknown has kept you stuck. It happens to us all. If this man could still be your best friend but you could be free of the relationship and in time find a man who is loving and loyal and, dare I say it, romantic and exciting would that be ok? Can you personally spend less time with him at the moment, perhaps start planning how you could move on, be less of a doormat (sorry to sound harsh) by developing your own mixed circle of friends more. You have written to dear cupid for a reason - you are acknowledging it is not what you want any more. Personally I don't blame you and I'm sorry but keeping a picture of another woman on a phone and texting are not the actions of a loyal, committed and loving man. I hyope you can find the strength to start to distance yourself - I think things will become even clearer for you then.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): why are u still with him? ur miserable with him arent you?
maybe u r being a lil bit OTT right okay, my bf emailed an escourt about meetin up... yknow the rest, he didnt actually go tho, he said he relaised how much he loved me, bt i cnt get over the fact that he still went an emailed tth women and i know this is completely nothin compared to ur hubby cheatin and tht bt the point being is that i beacse para well i still am right enough i cnt all paranoid about him chattin to girls coz i thin kwht the hell is he talkin to them for? and i jst get para all the time, and i go thro his fone to check if e has any girls numbers.
the only adice i can give u is try and over look the paranoia theres nothin u can do really, say u end it and it was jst textin and nothin more with this women?
have a good long talk with him.
dont end your marraige after so long, you love him , right? then dnt walk away from the one you love =]
wish i could remain true to my own advice, coz i knw how hard it is being hurt by the one who love then tryin to trust them again =[
x
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