A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just got out of a 11 year relationship. I have body acne bad like on my butt and inner thighs. I feel gross...like no one will ever be with me because of the acne down there....would you be with someone who had acne there? Do I tell people about it from the beginning??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2017): Do not tell them if they care about you it should not matter at all.I want to tell you about a great product.My son had this same problem.We went to doctors and tried everything nothing worked.Go online and order proactive body wash it can really help you...totally cleared up my son's now he has none at all.It is worth a try.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 August 2017):
 OP, if you want to talk about your butt and thigh acne go see a dermatologist and get it sorted out. THIS is not dating topic or something you OWE a guy to "warn" him about before he "decides" to date you or not.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (30 August 2017):
 Hell, no! That would definitely come under the heading of "too much information". Plenty of time to tell them if/when you establish a strong relationship. You've just been in an 11 year relationship, during which (we assume) you had this condition, so it was obviously not a deal breaker.
Have you spoken with your doctor? There are many good treatments around these days which help control (if not cure) acne. I am sure you would feel better in yourself (certainly less self conscious) if you did something about it.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (30 August 2017):
 "Hi, my name's Joe, I like working out, making my lady feel special and love animals. I also have terrible gas after eating pizza. I mean truly just knock you out, gas-mask bad gas. My left testicle is higher than my right and I have yellow toenails."
No, no, no. Don't tell people "upfront." Not that there's anything wrong with acne, a LOT of people have it or have had it. It's not an STD that you need to disclose out of fairness and respect to a partner. The above little paragraph was to illustrate a point. When you first meet someone, all the "positives" are out. That's not a bad thing necessarily because it helps us bond better if we see the "good" before the "bad". If someone told you all their secrets in one go, the mystery is gone and instead of sighing over Joe's strong body and kind heart, you're now worried about his toxic gas and imagining those yellow toenails. lol
Here's a better example. A friend of mine was infatuated with this very sweet girl who was very insecure about cellulite. She pointed them all out to him and moaned and groaned about them every time they were together. Now, my friend is far from shallow. He has dated all kinds of women including a lady who some people considered obese-he told those people to stuff it cause he was absolutely crazy about her. Now, a strange thing happened after my friend kept hearing about the cellulite. He began to see it on her all the time and the it blurred out the things he found so sexy about her. Because the cellulite was her whole focus, it became his too!
Don't worry about it, men and women have it and life goes on. If it's something that really, really bugs you, see a dermatologist as I've heard there are many different treatments out there. A girlfriend of mine raves about the Proactive body wash as it worked for her. So relax, get out there, have fun and find love :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2017): NO!!! Why? Who's perfect? We all have imperfections and physical flaws we aren't exactly proud to show. That information is far too private. TMI!
Your 11-year relationship happened and lasted in spite of physical imperfections. Were your acne scars the cause of your breakup, or was your body-image insecurities partially responsible?
Seek advice from a dermatologist. You can also find over the counter treatment for hyper-pigmentation and discoloration. It may require more aggressive forms of treatment for prominent scarring and indentations. If that is really necessary.
Most problems women have about their bodies is more in their own minds than with men. You're harder on yourselves than men really are. You think your appearance is what attracts men to you.
With this kind of thinking, women neglect their character and personality. Ignoring their other good attributes; focusing only on physical-appearance alone. If you're mean and nasty, or a clingy insecure woman; your looks aren't your worst problem. You could be a perfect beauty, and men will not commit their hearts to you if you're scornful, nasty, or overbearingly insecure. That's what turns men off more than anything else.
If only women realized some of the image or physical-attributes we men worry about, you would calm-down some.
If God felt only beautiful people deserve to walk this planet and find love; I don't think He would have created so many average-looking people. I've seen amputees, severely-burned people significantly scarred; victims of accidents and attacks who walk the streets proudly alongside their husbands and wives. Pushing strollers and proudly bearing the scars life has put upon them. There are models with scars and amputations making a living with imperfections.
I have a three-inch raised keloid scar on my my chest. I don't hide it. I go shirtless to the beach. It's a part of me, and I have a four-year relationship that's going strong and my scar has no effect on how my guy feels about me. My love-life is fantastic!
A beautiful talented young woman who survived a plane-crash sung her heart out before millions on national TV on "America's Got Talent." She stood there brave and beautiful and shared her gift in spite of scars from head to foot. She brought people to their feet and she inspired me; and made me understand that people care more about what's in you. If they can see that apart from your flaws; they truly care about you. Her scars did not prevent her from pursuing her dream.
The guy who sees and doesn't care, but remains; is the guy who cares more about you. He's not focused on your scars. Don't scare guys off based on your own insecurity. He doesn't know how he feels about it until he has seen it for himself. Trust me, guys are attracted to women for more than what you look like.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2017): No donT tell them. Everyone has things they're self conscious about. You don't need to highlight them early on
Could this acne actually be hydradenitis suppuritiva? See a dermatologist and get it cleared it so you don't have to worry. There are treatments available
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2017): Hi. The answer is no you don't. Don't get naked with anyone you don't think thinks you are awesome, and if they do they won't care.
I speak from experience. I had a really babies belly, loose skin with stretch marks really bad. The rest of my body was all what you would say as normal. I had two boyfriends over about eight years. First one thought it amazing that I even had an issue with my belly, he found me sexy and didn't care. After we broke up I had a tummy tuck, as I always wanted one. Now I have less stretch marks and no loose skin but do have a long tuck scar. Second boyfriend equally thinks I'm crazy for being self conscious of my scar! Adores me irrespective.
A real man cares for the woman- marks, bumps- the lot.
Try and alter how you think of your acne as I suspect it's a self confidence thing more than anything else
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (30 August 2017):
 i would think it is more in grown hair, try to look it up on the net, you might get tips on it
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2017): He likely will not reveal all the things he sees about himself as being "unacceptable" early on. Neither should you. If you fall for each other, then it's about you as a person, not only you as a female body!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 August 2017):
 No. This is not something you tell people. This is part of your body, and this is something they will see in due time, when the times comes that you both feel ready to be intimate enough with each other that those parts of your body will be revealed. This is not something that is mandatory or expected to be informed about up front. It's part of your body, and your body is what it is.
I didn't even know about my boyfriends two tattoos before we were in a relationship, lol! Because I hadn't seen him without a shirt yet, so that was a surprise. But really, that's something an adult and mature person will take with no problem. It's part of a persons body and it is what it is. If someone was looking for someone with perfect skin, and that acne was a deal breaker for them, it would lie on them to inform YOU of this from the start, not the other way around.
BTW, if you find your acne to be so bad that it prevents you from living a normal life, such as going dating, or going swimming, you might want to consider seeing a dermatologist. There are cures for acne, medication that actually works. Talk to a dermatologist about it and get information about your options. I had acne in my face and on my back, and I was in my twenties (so hormones from teen-ages were not to blame). I got a prescription for Isotretinoin. That was close to 7 years ago now, and still I have not had acne return. I would recommend it, it's a life changer.
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