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I loaned a friend money, he promised to pay it back but still hasnt!

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Question - (9 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have a friend...well I use that loosely now...but at one point we had somewhat of an interest in one another but nothing really came of it when he realized I wasn't going to have sex with him. But we remained friends.

While I was on vacation a couple of months ago, he text me and reluctantly asked if I could help him out and pay his electricity bill ($230). I felt very uncomfortable about this. He has 3 children, one of which is a toddler and of course he pulled that into his request....and the weather has been extremeley hot. I thought about it over the weekend and tried to think Christ-like in it. He told me he would be able to pay me a portion back later in the week. So I told him that I don't feel comfortable with this but for his children I'd loan him the money...which I actually paid directly to the power company. Well...later in the week, the $50 he said he'd pay became $25, then nothing at all. So I just let it go.

Then he told me he's filing bankruptcy, etc and I figured that's freeing up some of his obligations and surely he could pay me. I asked about it and he said he'd be able to give me something at the end of the week. At the end of the week I didn't ask him and he didn't come through with the repayment either. I've been really patient but now I'm really getting mad.

I tried to do the right thing and now I feel taken advantage of. Should I again ask him about it with a payment in full or just let it go completely as a lesson learned?

View related questions: bankrupt, money, text

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A female reader, OhGetReal United States +, writes (9 August 2010):

OhGetReal agony auntIf you really need to repayment of the loan and you don't care about ending the friendship, then take him to small claims court and file for the money plus court costs.

A judge will rule in your favor as you can show the canceled check to the power company, but it is on you to enforce the judgement, but the court can help in collecting that fee I believe.

In the future, due to the current economy, depending on where you live, the electric company will not cut off someone's power due to non payment. Your friend could also sign up to have his bill computed on yearly average, which makes his payments the same every month so he doesn't have to come up with extra money during the hot and cold months when the bill is higher.

If he is filing for bankruptcy, I would take him to court right away....I understand you wanting the money back.

It is a good policy though to never loan money you can't afford to lose...never loan a book either if you expect to get it returned, people almost never return books, LOL.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (9 August 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntConsider it to be a $230 payment to get rid of a deadbeat friend. Only give a friend or family member money if you don't expect to get repaid.

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