A
male
age
51-59,
*ugbynutter
writes:Hi, I dont know where to start with this so I guess it will be at the beginning...I live with my fiancee and our 3 year old son and I love them both dearly. My fiancee has two elder daughters one is 23 and the other is 25, just recently I have been having dreams about the elder daughter. She is very attractive and is married although we know she is not happy.Do I tell her about the dreams I have been having or am I just having a mid life crisis. I would never want to split up with my fiancee as I love her very much but I am really starting to think that I fancy her daughter. I feel I need to tell someone. What should I do?
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Get your feelings under control, only YOU can do that. Why don't you involve your partner in your fantasies? (NOT the one about the daughter of course). Ask her what her fantasies are too. Talk about this in the bedroom, it can be very erotic and make for some wonderful love making afterwards.Eve
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): DO NOT TELL HER A THING!!!!!! Why would you even consider it? You must be able to trust that you got engaged to the right person. It's also natural to get cold feet and think you desire other women before you get married, just make sure it dosen't happen after your married.
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A
male
reader, rugbynutter +, writes (4 September 2007):
rugbynutter is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. I have been deliberating about what to do or not do about this situation for a while and it has been playing on my mind and also effecting my judgment in certain things.
I guess my thoughts will remain sealed and my fantasies along with them.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (4 September 2007):
I agree totally with Eddie here. Enjoy the fantasy, you're a hot blooded man but keep it as fantasy. Telling your fiancee will not only hurt her but make her feel very insecure, not to mention protective towards her daughter. Concentrate more on your fiance, shower more affection and attention on her and you'll get it back in return.
And remember always YOU have a mind, your feelings come from your mind and YOU can control your feelings. Put the thoughts of the daughter out of your head and think more about the wonderful woman you are with NOW and what you have together and build on it. Telling her about these dreams will only shatter her. Remember, it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it!
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): You can find her attractive, so? but actually thinking of telling her is a big no no. Do you want to ruin your relationship? do you really think she'll betray her mother for an old guy like you? Keep your thoughts in your head, don't go over the top which is what your doing right now. I feel sorry for your g/f
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 I hope this is a joke. There is a reason our heads are pretty well sealed. It's to keep all our crazy thoughts inside. When you say you're thinking about telling her how you feel, who is "her", your fiancée or her daughter? Either way, it's a bad idea !!!!!You are entitled to your thoughts or dreams. Dreams are not in our control. You are a man, she is a woman. You are not blood relatives....BUT....as a human being, decent man, you should understand that this is taboo. What purpose would there be in letting this dirty secret out of the bag? If I told every woman I met I found her attractive, I'd have no friends or family left. The truth is this. The fact you find her attractive is IRRELEVANT. It is of no value and serves no good purpose. You say she's 25, very attractive, married...although not happily so. Again, is that fact about the status of her marriage fuel for your fire. Also, don't forget, if you were to be with her, you'd be hooking up with your son's sister.....
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