A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,I have this boyfriend for six months now but at that span of time we always argue. Two months dating we agreed to get marry and stay in his mom's house but his mom told us not to rush and move our marriage for another five months. At that time, his mom is so nice to me but after several weeks of staying in there house Ive noticed that she's not good and everytime they had an argument with my boyfriend the more she got angry with me and wants me to leave. I never told my boyfriend about it until the day when she phoned my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. I was so hurt that time that my boyfriend saw my facial reaction about it. My boyfriend reacted and we had a fight that his mom joined with my boyfriend and hurt me physically. She even packed my things, slapped my face and dragged me outside the house. After two days, me and my boyfriend patched up but he's always moody and hurt my feelings. I just figured it out that he cannot resist his mom. He even told me that his mom got sick because of him and me...How can I let my boyfriend realize my importance? I fought back verbally with his mom because she hurt me physically at that time she dumped me in their house but i never fought back again with her. It really hurt me coz his mom told my boyfriend that I'm no good for him and if I will become his wife she cannnot enter our house. She even ask his ex and let his ex and my boyfriend's daughter stayed in their house for three days. She text my co-officemate and said bad things about me. She tore my jeans, sandals and my bag when I slept one time at their house after the fight. She even phoned me and said nasty htings about me. My boyfriend now is so confuse... I know that it won't happen coz I'm not bad as his mom... How can I let my boyfriend believe me mr. cupid.. Please tell me what to do? I'm afraid we are falling apart. His mom will not stop until we break up.
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female
reader, KittenMagic  +, writes (4 December 2007):
 This is disgusting!I cannot believe that anyone would act like this towards anyone, but your boyfriend's mother?!You CANNOT keep going through this, you've done nothing wrong so you shouldn't have to be the one on the recieving end of not only emotional but also physical attacks.No one can do this, and i'm sure you are well within your rights to go to the police about her attacking you.BUT, you've got to take your boyfriend into account in this situation, and this is what makes it hard.I have a very good friend, she's older than me, but is in a VERY similar situation. She married, although her whole husband's family hated her, and stil do, and now she is very unhappy. She did not (like you) do anything to upset the family - they simply don't want their 'little boy' so be 'stolen' by another women.Explain to your boyfriend how everything makes you feel, and perhaps show him your entry regarding this on the website.Then leave the choice up to him. It's hard for someone to decide between family and relationships, and really isn't fair. Make sure he knows that this isn't what you're making him do - ask him to speak to his mother, and that you have rights too. Do not stand for this behaviour towards you anylonger.If he cannot, or will not see things from your point of view, then leave him, and wait until you find the REAL Mr Right.Good luck hun
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (4 December 2007):
 You are dealing with a jealous mother here. The first thing you need to do is move out of the house. By all means continue seeing your boyfriend, let him know that you and his mom don't get along and you don't want to add any more pressure. Don't bad mouth his mother to him as he'll stick up for her as he obviously loves her and cares for her (she brought him up after all) and he'll take her side which will only push YOU and him further apart.
Instead, find somewhere else to live so that when he comes round he enjoys the peace and tranquility which in turn will bond you and him closer together. In time he should know in his own mind what he wants to do and have the backbone to make his own decisions in life without his mom having a say.
Meanwhile, the less you and the mom see of each other the better as she seems to have made her mind up that you're not right for him. YOU... prove her wrong!
Eve
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