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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My problem is that I love to wear make-up but my boyfriend hates it. I've been wearing makeup for years now and I always feel more comfortable wearing it. The issue is that my boyfriend recently told me that he thinks I wear too much makeup. This hurt my feeling because in my mind he was telling me that my everyday look isn't pretty. I don't think I wear too much makeup I wear foundation that matches my skin correctly, slight under eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, blush, and lipstick. He's told me in the past that my eyeshadow bothers him and he won't kiss me if I'm wearing lipstick. I feel like I'm changing my look for him when I don't wear what I normally would and this upsets me. I want him to be attracted to me but I also want to do my face how I want. I enjoy putting on makeup it's fun for me. Does anyone have any advice with what I should do? At this point I'm still wearing makeup but not using as much eyeshadow because he doesn't like it. When I'm with him I also try not to wear lipstick since he won't kiss me if I have it on. I want to feel attractive to him but I also want to look my best. What's a good compromise? Should I be compromising? Men what do you prefer makeup or some makeup or none? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): You can say, very plainly, "its my face". For the kiss thing, i can see how he wouldn't really like that. Maybe tinted lip balm or lip stain
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 Don't ever change for a man! Ever! Stay true to who you are, and if he doesn't like it he can take a hike. You'll regret it if you change for him, and you'll start to resent him as well.
You don't wear lipstick at night so he can kiss you then. There's no need for a compromise. If he doesn't like lipstick then he shouldn't have started dating a girl who wears lipstick and then complain about it afterwards. He's being rude and is out of line telling you what makeup you can wear or not.
Don't ever compromise on who you are. You want to feel attractive to him, but you should find a man who thinks you, as you are, dressing up the way YOU like, and using makeup YOU like, is attractive. Don't try to impress a man who wants to change you and thinks you aren't good enough the way you are.
When he started dating you is when he agreed that you are attractive enough. You wore makeup then, and you wear it now, so he's got no right to complain about it. Being suggestive is ok, but there's a line when it comes to demanding.
On a personal note though, when it comes to lipstick there's a practical reason for not kissing when it's on (same with lipgloss): it rubs off on the man, or is sticky, or smudges it out on your face. Which is why I don't kiss with lipstick or gloss on either. BUT, that is for practical reasons, which doesn't seem to be the reason your man is against it.
Tell him to get over it. You wear what you want to wear, and he can accept it or leave.
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female
reader, Tyedyedturtle  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 Never change your style for a man. If you enjoy the makeup you wear and have fun applying it, then keep on keeping on. The only thing i would bend on is the lipstick. Guys look at it and just think, "If I kiss her, that pink/red is going to be all over my lips and face. Yuck!" It might look sexy, but isn't fun to kiss. It can be sticky and uncomfortable. So, just try different products. Lipstains are great. They leave a matte finish which doesn't fade away quickly. Just add some lip gloss for a more shiny look. Try a tinted lip balm. I usually just stick to basic, colorless lip balm when I am with my boyfriend. I use something minty or fruity so I taste extra good, but my lips don't look too flashy.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 August 2011):
 I tend to wear lighter, more natural make-up.
But my ex-husband hated kissing me if I wore lipstick.
I did not wear it all the time, but for special occaisions, work, etc.
My solution was to wear tinted lipbalm the rest of the time.
Small compromises are fine-changing who you are and your personal ID...no.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): Most of the men I've dated only like make-up that they can't tell you're wearing...or when you use a little more make up for the ordinary for a special occasion. If they ask you, "do you wear makeup?", then it's enough makeup.
I do get what you're saying about feeling more comfortable with it on though. I've gotten in routines where I didn't feel comfortable being seen outside my house if I didn't put on little concealer and blush. I would literally put it on just to go to the gym. It doesn't make much sense, but like AngleDlite said, you get addicted to your "face".
It seems like you are wearing a full face of make up though and perhaps you are so used to it, you can't tell that it might be a lot.
My theory about make up (informed from a couple boyfriends) is that if you've got too much on, you start to look like a transvestite and stop looking like a woman. Men like women to look like women, they don't want a women with a "women face" painted on. It can make a woman look clownish if you use too much of it or use it in an amateur way. I'd got to cosmetic counter with your "face" on and ask a beautician (on who is done up in a very natural way) to give you a critique and then offer alternatives.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 how did you look when you met him? it could be that he feels insecure about you looking attractive with make up so he wants you to be more plain. could be that you really DO wear too much and it makes you look bad but you don't see it. i think you should get the opinion of someone impartial, maybe ask your mum or friends what they honestly think of your look. you could go see a beautician for a professional opinion on what you might be doing wrong and get a make up lesson that shows you how to emphasizes your looks without looking like you're wearing a mask. experiment yourself, try more subtle colours, find something that you like. i think men like to know they are with a woman who doesn't need make up, but us women can get a little bit addicted to it once we start wearing it
x
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