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female
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*iza
writes: I am dating this guy for a month and two weeks we recently found out that his ex is pregnant. The thing is I am not 100% sure if they really broke up... they live far from each other and I live closer to my boyfriend..... I am now worried that the worst could happen, that they get back together. I also feel like I am affected by this whole thing.... Can someone please advise me whether sticking around is ideal. I find it very hard to try to break up. It doesnot even cross my mind that I should leave this relationship. Even though i am worried I will be in for an uphill...This guy is a real gentleman. I feel very connected to him because we have known each other for almost a year until we decide to persue a relationship. I feel very safe and special with this guy and he is honest.He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and he treats me so greatly. My fear is that the baby on the way will cause troubles for us. I have mentioned breaking up to him because I feel like I dont have much options but he doesnt want to hear it.....What shall I do? Is there hope for this relationship?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): thank you for writing this question...i am in the exact same situation as you. prepare yourself for a lot of trouble and rocky roads. if you love him and he loves you you it will work it out. but it will most definitly be hard. it has been 11 days since he had his baby, and his ex hasd planned pictures for them he is there everyday while im at work...its hard and we are holding on, but make sure that he includes you in the decision making process or his ex will run your lives forever. its already starting....and im not sure we will make it but i hold on to hope.
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Driving yourself crazy with worry will not change things or ensure that is stays with you.
I am sure if you have known each other for a year before starting a relationship, he was sure that he liked you before going for it.
However, your relationship is fairly new, so my advice is be supportive and understanding until situation is more conclusive.
If you make come on to strong, you may push him away.
Whatever happens, your support will mean a lot to him and they must of broken up for a reason.
Good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): Hi Sweetie,
It's tentatively that i write to you on this one because i have never been in this situation myself, but it's the kind of scenario every woman must dread with all of her heart, and this time your number was up. I'm sorry to hear that Niza.
I think that at the end of the day, if the man you are with wants to be with this woman then he will be. But from what you say - he doesn't want to end things with you - so the chances are that he will do his Fatherly duties with you at his side instead of her. HOWEVER, if you aren't even sure whether or not he has broken up with his ex then should you really be getting involved with him in the first place??
I mean, that's enough to contend with in itself - let alone the prospect of a child in the equation aswell!
Think about it logically, you've only been with this guy for a month. That's very little time in the grand scheme of things to work out whether or not you will work out in the long term- let alone be able to cope together with a child that isn't yours. And you seem to think that you're right together which is probably the gospel truth... but remember, just because you're right together, doesn't mean that you're right together "RIGHT NOW". It's a sad reality and occurs more often than you realise.
You can either hold your breath and take a big leap of faith on this man, risk your feelings, decide to trust him 100% and stand by him no matter what happens, OR you can back away before you get in too deep and leave him to resolve all of these issues with his ex and decide that the timing just wasn't there for you both and hopefully you can stay good friends. Only you can know what's right, but either way - be good to him. It can't be easy for him either.
Good luck darling x
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