A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with liking two guys. One I'll call John. I met John over two years ago and I've been dating him for two years. We have a great relationship and neither of us ever planned on us ever breaking up. The only problem is that he is in the Navy and is over a thousand miles away. We've been pretty good with the situation, but I'm soon going to college and he will be going on a submarine at the same time for months at a time.The other guy, I'll call Mark. I just met Mark through my boyfriends friend. We started talking a couple weeks ago and I really like him. We never run out of things to talk about and when I'm not talking to him, which is pretty much only when I'm at school, all i want to do is talk to him. He's also a great singer and that drives me nuts. He has told me he likes me and he knows about my boyfriend and is really supportive about letting me decide.I haven't told my boyfriend about Mark and I know he would be completely devastated if I even mentioned it so I have no idea what to do I'm completely torn.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): This is the same person who wrote the question. Thank you for helping me out. So I thought I should kind of update what is going on so I can keep getting advice because things have gone downhill. I had to go out of town this weekend, but I decided to dump my boyfriend. Before I did, I asked Mark to promise me he wouldn't hurt me and his exact response (text) was "I wont!...i promise!" The same night he asked me if it was ok if he was to hang out with a girl that I saw flirting with him one time. I of course said that I thought she liked him so obviously I wouldn't like it but I didn't tell him he couldn't. He said that he wouldn't because he understood. Later that night, I told him I broke up with my boyfriend and he was trying to comfort me. Then I tried to talk to him after that conversation and he wouldn't reply. He didn't answer me until noon the next day when all he said was "hi" and "I just got out of the shower." Then he didn't talk to me again when I asked him what he did last night. Finally, that night he talked to me. I asked him why he has been ignoring me and he said, "Sorry...I thought we just need to not talk for awhile...and we need to just be friends." Imagine what I felt after I just dumped my boyfriend for him! After that, he didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. I was going crazy so I had his brother and his roommate trying to get a hold of him and neither could. Finally this morning he talked to me again. I asked why he has been ignoring me and he said that my friends don't like him and my mom thinks he is too old for me so we should just wait until I turn 18 (in April). Crazy I know. First of all, only two of my friends told him to stay away from me but they don't dislike him at all I talked to them and they know their place. Also, my mom did say he was too old but she completely understands what I have done because she knows how hard it was for me to be with John. I told Mark this and he said he would call me later. I just don't know what to do because he is all I can think about but I know he was with that girl last night. Help?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Well I know what your feeling...because ive been through it also i have a friend in the exact same problem the only difference is that she sees both people she likes on a daily basis. Now if you really love the NavyGuy you would get rid of Mark but then you like Mark alot two, Thats a hard one. there is only one solution in a situation like this....................................................... Date the one who will give you the prettiest children and is guarentied to give you a great future. Trust me there will be no regrets............. And it cant be the NavyGuy if hes thousands of miles away from you.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Sometimes this happens when a loved one is away f0rm you. You have to make a choice because you could end up hurting someone in a really bad way. The NavyMan might care for you but if you can't make a clear decision to be committed to him you won't be fair in the relationship towards him. The guy here isn't getting the whole person to give his love to either so he is missing out somewhat also. On the other hand you are missing out on what either of these guys could give you by being with the selected one because you will be so confused trying to keep up with them both. Give yourself a break from the second guy, think on your relationship with the NavyMan and evaluate both. You said yourself "We have a great relationship and neither one of us planned on breaking up." It seems that Mark will be fine either way as he already knows about the NavyMan and is putting no pressure on you to decide. Yep the ball is in your court hon and you have to decide. Remember that not only is it your decision but one you must live with so take your time and good luck. God bless.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (21 October 2007):
Sometimes this happens when a loved one is away f0rm you. You have to make a choice because you could end up hurting someone in a really bad way. The NavyMan might care for you but if you can't make a clear decision to be committed to him you won't be fair in the relationship towards him. The guy here isn't getting the whole person to give his love to either so he is missing out somewhat also. On the other hand you are missing out on what either of these guys could give you by being with the selected one because you will be so confused trying to keep up with them both. Give yourself a break from the second guy, think on your relationship with the NavyMan and evaluate both. You said yourself "We have a great relationship and neither one of us planned on breaking up." It seems that Mark will be fine either way as he already knows about the NavyMan and is putting no pressure on you to decide. Yep the ball is in your court hon and you have to decide. Remember that not only is it your decision but one you must live with so take your time and good luck. God bless.
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A
male
reader, blazee  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 heya=]
um you got to chose this on your own, look into your heat and try to realize which one really means a lot to you.
like the guy that can sing, hes gonna know that will help him with any girl, and hes kinda stealing you, but in a sneaky kind of way.. think about weather he could do that to you if he met someoneelse. at least with the first guy youve known him two years, you know hes always there for you.. so you have a situation where you have a strong relationship where he has done nothing to you, and you have a risk. its a gamble if you choose the risk:S
but its your life, i would say stay wid ur guy though.
hope da helps b x
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