A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I met this guy online (don't worry, I know he's real, I know his mate and Ive facetimed him and snapchatted him too) for about 6months now, he's asked to meet up plenty of times, it's not that I'm scared or anything but I just don't know if I want to or not.He tells me that he's never liked anyone as much as he likes me but i just feel that because he hasn't really met me/doesn't really know me that he can't say that!? I do like him, he's good looking, funny, cheeky... If he lived around me I would probably already be dating him.He's asked me to date him long distant but I just really hate the idea of that and I also kind of like a boy around my area also... Though I know I don't want to date this guy, I can't seem to stop talking to him.What do you think I should do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 March 2015):
 You should stop stringing him along, when he has made so clear that he does not want just to entertain you and help you kill time , he wants to date you.
Tell him honestly, look, It's not going to happen. I think you are a great guy, and if you were local I'd think about ut seriously, but as things are now, 1 ) I do not want to be in an LDR and 2 ) I am pursuing something with another guy.
Let HIM choose if , at these conditions, he still wants to carry on your on screen relationship, and stay "friends "- or not. I guess it will be an "or not ", and that's a pity for you ( the guy wants to date you, not to be your pen pal, and , I think, he is still around only because he still hopes something can happen between you. )
Then again , I think he deserves the basic respect of knowing your TRUE intentions.
" I don't know if I want or not .... " means you do NOT want. Because if you really wanted, you'd know it .
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2015): That guy is not looking to be liked over a computer screen. He wants to be physical with you so the reason he keeps popping on your computer screen is that he hopes that an additional appearance could cause you to want to meet him. Therefore if you don't have intention to meet him you should also stop talking to him. There is nothing to feel bad about that because, that poor chap, will at least know that he has no chance and will buzz off. Otherwise, you will be, as we call it in the US, a dick teaser, a girl that every man hates after a while.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2015): You've sort of found yourself a pen-pal; but I don't think that's what the young man online is looking for. You might want to let him know you enjoy just chatting; but if he needs to, feel free to meet-up with anyone else he likes. Never lead anyone on. It's not fair. If he's as young as you are, he thinks he has feelings for you. He's charmed by your point of view, and he's really yearning to see and meeting the girl behind the chat.
Your common-sense and instincts are on point. It doesn't make any sense to form strong feelings for someone you've never met. You know that, and I know that; but there are a lot of people using social media who disagree. It's always best to be honest with people; and not to use them for your own entertainment. He has feelings. You're a nice person, and you should let him know that online is as far as it will ever go.
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A
female
reader, Godspraise  +, writes (2 March 2015):
well in my opinion you're just not ready yet to meet up with him because if you were you would agree with going on an actual date with him and i think you should make that clear to him that your just not ready for it and that you need some time to figure out if its really even something that you want because it could be very plausible your just ment to be friends.
and if it so happens that you like the guy in your area more it wouldn't be fair stringing him along if he has hope for a romantic future with you.
Good luck!!
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