A
male
age
30-35,
*harminadam
writes:okay well im 15...i am kind of an outgoing guy with the girls but idk how to ask one out. I have one friend that i like and i feel she likes me too...but im not sure because today i saw her with another guy flirting and it hurt me alot! also she is pregnant and im the only one shes told! idk what to do! help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Does your pregnant friend have something going on with the father of her unborn child?
I reckon this one is a no go. Do you really need us to tell you that?
A
male
reader, tux +, writes (7 March 2009):
 Personally, I never liked the idea of dating a girl with a kid, even up until the age of 30. I love kids and all and I have one on the way with my wife now, But I never liked the idea of raising someone else's kid. I've caught flak a few times with girls with kids saying I was being self-asborbed but well they chose to bring a kid into this world and was their choice as was it mine to not take the relationship to a dating point.
But there is a lot of things to consider if you like her more than just as a friend. She's pregnant is the biggest thing. If she decides to keep you, you will be raising it if you end up having any relationship. I guess it can be considered noble to do, but keep in mind that you are still young as well. you need to live your life. A baby will just not work into that equation.
You'd be in a better spot if she plans on putting the baby up for adoption, but that is her decision to make and you should be careful not to push her in that direction. A person needs to make that choice for themselves, otherwise they may end up regretting it in the future.
But I believe like the other posters that she needs to tell more people about the pregnancy than just you.. She will need more support.. She needs to go see a doctor no matter which way she plans on going on with the pregnancy.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 Well, you would do what any good and true friend would do: set aside your feeling, be the friend she needs right now.
How do you that?
1. Search this site for Q+A on "pregnancy", "pros and cons on abortion and adoption", "teen pregnancy", "[age] prenancy" "school and pregnancy". Read up on it. Save the pages that you think are interesting and useful for you and your friend. You will find that there are people who are in the same predicament as your friend is. A decision to have (or not to have) a child is a pretty darn difficult decision to make, at whatever age you are. This should help her a bit in understanding her feelings [or fear, in her case].
2. Sit with your friend, and go through the pages that you think would be useful for her to read up on. She does not need to go through the first step above, if she does not have the time yet (it does take an hour or two at first, because you have to sift through a lot of postings).
3. Prepare a list of her pros and cons, so when she talks to her mom, or school counsellor, or nurse, or boyfriend, she will be already well informed of her situation [and what to expect in the foreseeable future], and respond with both brain and heart with them. She will also be fully prepared on what to do next, hopefully.
4. Continue to be there for her when she needs you. You may feel that she is using you right now. But hey, right now she may be (and she did not "play" you in the past, did she?) but in a "good" way: she needs a friend who does not judge her!. If her boyfriend does not want you involved, let her tell you that, not him. If her parents know that you are helping her by being a good supportive friend, they will love you!
You showed us that you are going to grow up and be a fine young man! You have compassion for others, you are quick to help other people, yet you healthily admit that you have feelings and you are little bit hurt. But yet, your friend's well being is more important right now than yourself. Bravo!
Now, get searching on this site. Just to give you a head start, here's a couple of links for you to get going:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-pregnant-but-its-come-at-the-wrong.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/abortion-or-adoption17-and-torn-.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-you-tell-me-how-is-an-abortion.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-pregnant-and-am-giving-my-baby-up.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/15-and-wanting-a-baby.html
Other teen-pregnancy sites and online help:
http://www.thehelpline.org/
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/helplines/General_Help_Lines.htm
I am so proud of you!
Cat
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A
female
reader, ksl0204 +, writes (7 March 2009):
Well, she needs to be telling someone that she is pregnant.. That is a huge deal... She needs as much support and positive influence right now. She needs a friend that isn't going to judge her regardless.. Who is the father of the baby and how old is she? Good Luck, you have your hands full for a 15 yr. I can understand that you like her but remember you have the rest of your life infront of you and take it from a 35 yr old on her 2nd marriage, could of been my 3rd but I broke up before I made that mistake. If I had to do it all over again I would finish school and concentrate on colllege. KL
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