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male
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*acpb
writes: hi well im in a relationship and been with my partner for a bout 4 or more years,I no longer feel anything for her, but her freind is nother matter, I relly fancy her mate who comes round all the time,The thing is I really cant tell if shes interseted in me too.Theres always alot of eye contact, smiles etc but how do i tell and should i act on it?How? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Hello Mac,
Before you do anything with your partner's friend, I really think that you should either try to figure out what went wrong in your relationship with her and try to fix it, or at least break it off with her before seriously considering acting on any feelings with anyone else, especially one of her friends.
If you do break up with your partner to be with this person, are you sure that she would feel comfortable getting together with you? I think most people would rather not get together with their friend's exes, especially right after they've broken up, and evenmore so because you two have been together for quite a while. Plus if you care about your partner at all, don't you think you should wait a while before getting together with someone she is friends with? Even if you don't love her, please show her some compassion.
Here is something else to think about: you probably don't want to be the one to split up their friendship, right? That could lead to all sorts of negative things: resentment, etc. What if they stay friends? How is that going to affect your futur if you were to get with the friend? Would you all hang out together? If you think your partner would be okay with you breaking up with her for her friend, then that's cool. But I highly doubt that would be the case. Do you see what I mean?
If you do break up with your partner, I would wait a while before moving in on her friend. If you don't, I think that a) you'll really hurt your partner, b) you will scare the friend away and lose both of them and/or c) you would cause hostility between your gf and her friend.
Chances are that if the friend likes you enough to put her friendship on the line, then she will keep being flirty with you after you break it off with your current girlfriend. If she is, then you will figure out what to do next. If she isn't flirting with you afterwards, then there's nothing you can do anyway.
So in short - figure out if you can fix the relationship with your current girlfriend. If you can't, at least have the decency to break up with her before trying to get with her friend. If the friend likes you, then you'll know how to proceed with her. If she doesn't like you, then at least you're free to find someone who is more compatable with you anyway.
Take care.
A
male
reader, jack23 +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Simple, you shouldn't.
This is completly inappropriate, the only person you are thinking about is yourself.
Firstly if you are not happy with your girlfriend why are you will with her, as right now you are technically using her. Leave her friend alone. If her friend has feelings for you and you both act on it then you will ruin their friendship.
Think about your girlfriend. If your going to split with her then im sure this will cause her enough upset, to lose her friend to you as well would be the worst thing for her.
Be a man and walk away.
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