A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi so there's this guy that I've had feelings for for a while. I'm 99% sure he at least likes me a little but for some reason I still have some doubt in my mind, which might just be because I'm not use to guys genuinely wanting to get to know etc. We've sort of had a thing going, we flirt, we talk alot, always laughing etc like it's so nice to be around him. He's 'joked' about us being a thing before but I'm that person who can never believe that another human being would be interested. The thing is, apart from all the laughing and cuteness and whatnot, I know that he's got a physical attraction to me too, which is okay because it's the same for me too I guess. To my surprise he's asked me hang out next week ,(is that a date?) , To watch movies and have snacks and stuff at his. I totally absolutely want to go but I still have this feeling in the back of my mind that he has an alterior motive - that he wants to have sex, but 1)I'm a virgin and 2)I don't want to just have sex until I know someone really has feelings for me. Lemme just point out he hasn't made any indication by inviting me over but as I said I just have this feeling in the back of my mind. I'm like this all the time, I assume that when a guys interested he wants to have sex with me, which is probably the case in 1/3 situations. Am i overthinking this? Is it possible for him to want to just hang out and not have sex?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2017):
 If you don't want to have sex don't put yourself in a position where you are alone with him in his house. If others will be their then yes that's okay but it not ask him would he like to catch a movie at the cinema instead. Keep yourself safe. The thing is you doubt how he feels because you haven't got to know each other on a level where you are comfortable talking about your feelings, that comes with time, but I would not recommend going to his place. Does he live alone? With parents?
A
female
reader, Campari Milano +, writes (26 February 2017):
You're 99% sure he likes you a little?!!!!!!
If he really honestly likes you, when or if you have sex won't even be an issue.
I was lucky enough that my first was also my first love and we were together for a year before we had sex. I totally understand this is not the same for everyone. But, seriously! Go and watch movies, and kiss and maybe more, but it is all your choice. Don't devalue yourself. If he only wants sex then you'll find that out and get the hell out of there!
You have to remember that, especially for your first time, sex should be about intimacy and love, and you should never feel pressured. If you feel that way, it's not right.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (24 February 2017):
 How old is this guy? Is he a similar age to you? Has he invited you to his parents' house? If so, then you are probably relatively safe and it should be fairly easy to control the situation. By that I mean don't allow yourself to get carried away. As soon as it is clear this boy wants a proper relationship with you, be honest and tell him you want to take things slowly. If he pushes you faster than you are comfortable, tell him you are not ready to go at that pace and back off. If he really likes you, he will understand.
However, if he is older than you and inviting you back to HIS place, then tread very carefully. Chances are he is more experienced than you and could take advantage of the situation before you realize what is happening.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (24 February 2017):
 It's possible, but not likely. How old is he? Will his parents be there?
I think it's good that you don't want to have sex until you know someone has feelings for you, but I think you should prolong it to being in an official relationship with someone for 4+ months, as someone could lie about feelings to get you in bed.
Tell your parents and explain that you don't want it to get out of hand, so please can they call you and pick you up if you text them that it's uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): If a guy invites you to his place then sex is on the agenda. Men are interested in having sex in ALL situations when they are interested in you, not in about a third of situations. I don't mean to be unkind but you sound incredibly naïve. OF COURSE HE WANTS SEX!!
It sounds as if he genuinely likes you and you both get on very well, so rather than going to his place, go to see a movie or an exhibition or something, but NOT to his place. Movies and snacks is boy code for nudity and sex.
Don't have sex until you are ready. If he likes you he will wait. And the more he waits, the more interested in you he will become in my experience.
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