A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy A two years ago, he is handsome and successful and has a stable relationship with a girl for 5 years. I went crazy over him but didn't pursue cause he has a gf, but eventually he fell for me too. This lasted for 2 years.. we weren't physically involved. During this period he was soo sweet to me and supports whatever I did, and I knew he was someone I could really rely on. Recently we broke off.. I guess he realised he couldn't do this to his gf and he thinks I deserve someone who could give me the full attention. My heart was broken into pieces, he was upset too but he wanted us to stay as friends so we did.I'm not over him completely, but I'm trying..I recently met this someone over the internet. He's really nice and we got on really well, there was nothing we couldn't talk about. As time goes by he became really caring and sweet towards me, he said he's interested in me and I felt the same way. The problem is I couldn't stop comparing him to my ex.. This new guy is less handsome, smokes a lot and works in a bar.. but he cares for me a lot and said he could kick off the smoking habit for me, but he'd need some time to do it. I'm really happy that he was willing to, even though that could take up to years but should I back off right now? I like him, but I couldn't stop making comparisons and think he's not good enough for me. I guess I wouldn't be able to find another single man like my ex! Since all the good ones are either taken, if not dating themselves. What should I do? Give the new guy a try? I like him but I can't look up to him like I did for my ex. HELP!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 September 2009):
Nobody on earth is going to ever be like your ex. Ever. So although comparing them is natural, if you keep comparing them, you're never going to be happy! There are plenty of good guys out there. Not all of them have been found yet. But look at your ex. Yes,he was handsome and successful and all that. But he cheated, then dumped you and hurt you to go back. Do you really want another guy like that? Go and find an ACTUAL nice guy instead of a man who pretends to be one so he can have his own way. Good luck. xx
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