A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need major help.My bf dumped me 2 months ago for someone else after 3 years of relationship. I was hurt very badly, but tried to stay friends. I thought it would be very hard to fall in love again, but I hated being lonely. I’m an extremely shy and introvert person. I have never been to a party or anything of that sort. You can say I’m a good girl, boring? But after being dumped, I wanted to find myself a better guy who can treat me better, so I joined this one cultural student association at my university. I’m a senior, by the way. Then at my first club meeting, I was attracted to this one guy. He’s a board member of the club, very outgoing, funny, happy, always smiling, a very sociable and active kind of guy, but…he’s short. I consider myself short, I’m 5 feet 2. He seems to be around my height, I hope he’s not shorter. T_T. anyway, I realize that I have developed a crush on him. He’s my first crush, because I only had 1 boyfriend my entire life and he liked me first. I found myself looking at this guy’s pictures a lot, and some videos that he’s in. When I do that, I smile. Whenever I read something on my ex’s facebook that talks about how much he loves the other girl (whom he left me for), I felt so hurt. Then I tried to relieve the pain by watching the guy at the student association. It does make me feel better for some weird reason. I talked to my friends about it, they told me that I like him. But I’m so shy. I do not talk much and appear very quiet at the meeting, and the meeting is only once a week. That means, I can only see him once a week. I don’t know how he feels about me. But he approaches me couple times, I went on his car to some student event. He jokes all the time. His jokes are so funny that I found myself cracking up every time I talk to him. But he doesn’t really know much about me since I tend to be very reserved. I thought of adding him on facebook to get in touch, but I don’t wanna be obvious, I do not want him to know that I’m interested in him. So I waited for him to add me first. I added a couple of people that he knows to make myself noticeable but not desperate. But it’s been 7 meetings but he has not added me. Maybe he doesn’t really notice me, or bother to add people on fb? I notice that he chose me to approach out of all the new members, does this mean he’s kind of interested in me? At our second meeting, he came and introduced himself to me, I don’t see him doing this to other new members, or is it because I don’t know him well enough to know. One time he joked by pinching me lightly on my cheek and said “you’re cute, I like you”. But I try not to take it seriously, cuz he’s joking all the time. I could just be another girl that he’s messing with. Other times, he would be talking and joking and punching my arms gently. I felt confused. I wonder how he feels about me. Maybe everything I have said mean nothing to him and to you, but how come I feel something. How can I find out if he likes me? What should I do now, that I think I like him. Are there some ways for me to do but doesn’t conflict with my introversive personality. Think of it as Someone like me can never confess to a guy first. At the same time, I have a problem of him being too short. I never imagine falling for a short guy. I know I sound shallow but some people will understand how I feel. I like his personality, but his height does throw me off. Plus, I found that he follows a different religion, which conflicts with mine. Also, he supports premarital sex but I’m against it. Would any of these be a problem for me? Especially the height issue.Please help me, I appreciate it.
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crush, facebook, my ex, notice me, shy, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): Wow. roght bassically you are clearly obsessing over this guy WAY to much. you clearly like him a lot more then your letting on, which is fine, but you need to do something about it or you will end up kicking yourself when he;s off with another girl.
He seems like a pretty outgoing and friendly guy, just bite the bullet, add him on facebook! who cares? and talk to him, just make conversation, it doesn;t matter if your not fantastic at flirting he sounds like the sort of guy who likes people for who they are, not who they pretend to be so just go for it. Nothing will ever happen if you don;t make some form of effort.
I ddon;t care what people say, love doesn;t "come to you" you have to fight for it!
so go
go fight for your man :)
A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (29 October 2009):
My first word of advice would be to stop over thinking everything!
Just go with it.
Absolutely friend request him on Facebook. That is not desperate. You actually talk in person, and he's an acquaintance. I can't tell you how many men and women that I've never even met friend request me. I've never thought anyone who did is desperate.
And don't worry if he's too short, or a different religion just yet. You're not marrying him!! Keep it casual and flirty. The attention will be good for your self esteem now, and then, when you're back feeling good - you may meet someone who is not too short, or shares your premartial sex beliefs,etc
Also, I suggest you delete your ex-boyfriend from your facebook! It's too soon after the break up. Emotions are too raw, and you definitely don't need to see his posts if they hurt you. (you can just delete him - or explain you need a little space)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Oh honey, you are just gonna have to "cowboy up" as we say in my part of the country. Guts, sweety. If this means you have to add him first, then do it. But remember, men like to be the chasers. Dont be too forth coming. Just take a little iniative. If you dont try, then you may never know. Everyone will be rejected at some point in their lives. Maybe this is your chance to see what you are made of!
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