A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, so if your reading this your amazing, and if you reply your a saint. I am lily and i am 16 years old. now i've known this guy named... bob for almost 4 years now.and we were kinda distant friends the whole time. but about a few months ago i started liking him as we became closer. we hung out a bit more and then at my brithday party and then it hit me BOOM!!! i fell head over heels for him and then he started liking me to. well towards the end of the school year he told me he liked me yet not enough to date me. because let me describe bob, he is very analytical. but that is one of the things i find bittersweet about him. he doesn't mind being alone, he is sweet, goofy, funny, and thoughtfull. and ya know what? if i was in my right state of mind i'd probably be all over him like a mouse to cheese. but there are a few factors stopping me. the way i was raised i was taught to never trust any man, not even your father, and i was also taught that if you give your heart away your giving them a reason to break it. so needless to say i have trust issues. anyway back to my story. my birthday was amazing because in the moonlight he told me that he liked me while dancing with me. and even more amazing to me is that we both share a l,ove of the same music, musical instuments, and we both absolutely love to dance, anyways so over the summer me and him have been getting even more and more close. to the point now we can read each others mind. lol (you think its funny but i feel so invavded! lol jk)he told me yesterday that he liked this girl and he reaaaally wants to date her, but he said he won't because he wants to make sure its worth his time. and you know what thats a great idea i thought. and i said thats amazing!! who is she.. and then he goes... its you.. (i felt like a totall failure at that point) and i like him i know that. and i KNOW we'd be great together. but i somehow still have my trust issue and im wondering how i can fix it. or maybe its a sign that its not ment to be. i have no clue and if i have bored you with my ridiculous story i apologize. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (29 July 2009):
 Ok well the issue here lies with whatever horrible person told you not to trust anyone! That is no way to live your life, I cant believe anyone would try and warp a child's mind like that! I am guessing (please correct me if I am wrong) that your mum told you all of this, and the bit with your father is because he left her?
Well if that is true then she is bitter about love, and she thought that by telling you not to trust anyone and not to love anyone she was doing you a favor. But what she has done is taken away your chance of happiness! Yes you are more than likely to get your heart broken and yes, it hurts like hell! But what would hurt more is to go through life without love, without experiencing the true feelings of intimacy that only love can bring! As they say, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
What would life be if you didnt take risks? Every relationship is a risk, some work and some dont. But the fun part is finding out! You cant live life being too scared to try anything, so dive in! This guy likes you, and you like him so just go for it!
You will never fix this trust issue seen as some terrible person has drummed it into you, but in time with the right person you will begin to trust them. I am a big believer in trusting someone until they do something to break that trust. Maybe try living by that rule instead of living in fear of love for the rest of your life!
Be brave and enjoy being with a guy who likes you a lot, when you finally get together with him you will wonder what you were scared about! Not all men are bad guys, in fact the majority of them are great guys who are looking for love too. This guy you have spoke about seems like a lovely guy who is very trustworthy, if he was going to break your heart you would have had signs by now! Any man that will dance with you in the moonlight is a keeper by my standards :) you wont find many like that, hold onto him and dont let him slip away.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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