A
female
age
30-35,
*nonymous18
writes:Hi, I've just arrived at University and have met loads of great new people. One person in particular has really made an impression. He's so great, really fun but sensitive and intense. I think I like him a lot but the problem is that he is gay. You can't tell and I would not have guessed if he had not told me. I don't really know what to do. I've only known him 3/4 weeks but already I'm thinking about him almost constantly.He's my friend so I can't ignore him or try and stay away from him. How can I stop thinking about him in this way while being around him all the time?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Okay, sweetness. This is a really sucky situation for you, but unless the guy is bi-sexual or mistaken about being gay (the chances of either of those are pretty slim), you need to move on. He is attracted to men, and unfortunately you're probably a great person but you lack a penis.
Think of it this way - assuming YOU are straight - say you met a really, really great girl... she was lots of fun and pretty and everything, and she really had a major crush on you. Would you consider hooking up with her? Maybe being her girlfriend?
If you are pretty set in being straight, probably not. It wouldn't mean she was any less of a great person, but you just don't feel anything towards her.
If you really need to know, go ahead and tell him how you feel about him. That will give you a pretty straight (no pun intended) answer. Maybe he'll say, "I sorta like you too... let's try". Or maybe he'll say, "sorry, girl. I really like you - but I'm still gay". You might as well try.
You sound like a great gal, and since you've only been in school for a few weeks, I assure you... you'll meet lots of cool people and meet tons of other hot (straight) guys.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): hey, you never know, he might not be completly gay, he might be bi. maybe you should ask him out, slowly get closer. he may well like girls, give him a chance!
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