A
male
age
36-40,
*michael
writes:well this girl that i am dating i like her. but i am not head over heels for her. She is sweet and quiet and pure. a girl that i really would want. but the thing is she is just cute. i don't find her greatly attractive. but i like cuddling with her and holding hands. but now today the day after we cuddled i feel like i am rushing into the relationship. now i feel like i am going to fast. i don't know what to do. i like her but just not head over heels for her. Should i stay with her and work through my feelings and maybe they will get better in time of knowing her. or should i just get out now? i really don't want to get out now. but i feel doubt for some reason. what should i do? :/ thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JoeM  +, writes (16 March 2010):
If you really enjoy being with her and you like her enough that you are not thinking about other girls I would say stick with it for a while.
Relationships don't always have to start with a thunderbolt, sometimes the best and healthiest relationships happen when the love grows out of friendship first.
I know hollywood movies, sex and the city and things like that make us all search for "the one"... but in reality sometimes you need to give a relationship a chance before you know she is special.
Alot of relationships that start with a thunderbolt of attraction end badly because people have unrealistic thoughts about the person they've fallen for. They put the person they fallen for on a an unrealistic pedestal.
Having someone you love to be with and cuddle is very important... even the most beautiful girl in the world can quickly become an ice maiden.... I wouldnt let go of the good thing you've found too cheaply. If you genuinely want to be with other women then let her go but otherwise give it a go... she might just become the one!!!
A
female
reader, Abrasive_Reality +, writes (15 March 2010):
Well, I'm assuming you haven't been together for long? In this case, if you are already feeling this way about her it's not fair to either of you for you to stay when you feel such a way. It's a part of life, we learn something new about ourselves each day and even though you may not want to leave her right away it may be in yours and hers best interest to leave now instead of 3 months from now telling her you felt this way prior and just cant take it any longer.... that would hurt more. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want them too but that doesn't mean that you must go through with something just to please someone else, while their feelings may be important to you as they should, you feelings are also equally important. If you doubt it, you will always doubt it.
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