A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've known two girls for the last two years: let's call them Sophie and Katy. I've probably talked to Sophie more and we get along really well (same type of humor and things like that), but she's really shy and kind of a loner. So, she doesn't really hang out with my group that much. Katy is in my group, and she's pretty cool, too. She's also cuter than Sophie. I kind of felt like both girls liked me, but I ended up asking Katy out, and not Sophie. Now Sophie seems a little less comfortable around me, and I'm afraid that I hurt her. Also, ever since I've started seeing Katy, we've been spending a lot of time together in school (sitting together in classes, lunch, etc.) But, if Sophie's around, I find myself wanting to talk to her way more; she's really funny and Katy is kind of boring. I've been thinking that I just dated Katy because she was more attractive and popular, but I'd really like to be with Sophie. But, I only asked Katy out a couple of weeks ago, and it would be bad to end it now to be with Sophie. I just don't know what to do. I like both girls...I guess Sophie is funner but Katy is more the type of girl I go for. And, am I shallow for choosing Katy in the first place?
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female
reader, Blod  +, writes (10 October 2009):
 To me it sounds as if you'd prefer to be with Sophie. You're going out with Katy right now, but despite that you're thinking about Sophie and you're saying that you want to talk to her more. You seem to enjoy her company a lot more than Katy's.I'm not saying that Sophie's the girl for you, but you don't seem to be making much progress with Katy while Sophie's around. Yes, Katy's the type of girl you'd go for but it doesn't mean she's perfect for you. And Sophie might make you laugh but if you two were a couple, maybe you'd realize that you're better off as friends.I agree with OmShantih. Don't rush into any big decisions. You're still young and you're the one in control of your life. You choose what you want, no matter how long it takes.If you don't feel Katy's right for you, end it. Take a break and see how you feel.You don't have to go for either remember. You could choose one of them, or you could leave both. Good Luck. X
A
female
reader, OmShantih +, writes (10 October 2009):
 I dont think you are shallow for choosing Katy, Everyone is first attracted to the one they find the nicer one too look at, its human nature! Its once you get to know the people that you can make a more informed decsision as too who you would rather be with.Why do you have to be with either?? Could you not break up with Katy, and just be friends with them both for a while, and if you still feel like you want to try and have more of a relationship with Sophie, then you can. It sounds to me like your over thinking the decisions before they are ready to be made. If you arn't happy with Katy then leave her. As for Sophie's behaviour around you now, it will be a little awkward for her as she has now got 'feelings' that are displaced, because you are with someone else, but once she has figured out what to do with them, things will settle down.My main advice is dont rush into making any big decisions!Love and Lightxx
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