A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know this isn't much of a problem, but i'd appreciate your help.I like a member of a band. The band that he was in that I am a fan of were famous. He is in another band now that isn't famous (well, they haven't released albums and singles). He is from the UK, like I am. I wrote to the lead singer of the band that he is in now, asking if the band are going to tour this year, and I asked if the band member that I like has a facebook page. He told me when the tour dates were, and he said that the band member that I like is a technophobe and doesn't have a computer. However, he said that he would show him the message if I send to him, or send it on the band's facebook page. I wish i could write to him directly, without anyone else reading it, but I guess it doesn't matter really if the lead singer sees it too. I'm trying to think of some good questions to ask him. I don't know if he will reply, but i'd like to try writing to him anyway. Can anyone suggest anything ? I want to keep it quite short, since he isn't good at using a computer. Should I send it in a private message on the lead singer's facebook page, or should i post it on the band's facebook page? Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2013): The lead singer has just sent me another message, saying that he has just spoken to the band member that i like, and that he mentioned my messages, and he sent me a video of a gig he performed at recently. I'm just wondering how to respond ?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): To the anonymous male who replied, I know lots of people who contact people on the internet, and meet them in person. Some of the people I know who do that are even older than I am (up to the 40's age group!). Celebrities are human beings just like the rest of us. He isn't really a celebrity anyway. The band released albums a really long time ago and they weren't in the charts very long. It's not like I would hound him with messages or go to all the gigs that the band do.The lead singer of the band he is in now even said that they are just doing this as a hobby.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): He may well be on Facebook but has locked down his privacy settings so you can't search his name. It sounds as if he just doesn't want to be contacted by people he doesn't know. The only way you may get to meet him is by going to some shows in the small venues. If he is good looking though, I doubt you are the only one trying to seek him out so be realistic.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): OP, you sound a little stalkerish in your behaviour. Sorry, I'm not sure your desire to contact band members and actors in the way you want is necessarily good or healthy. It's the sort of thing a young teenage girl might do, certainly not a woman aged between 26-29 and with a boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): I also read that he left the other band that he was in ( the famous one ) because he didn't want to be seen as a celebrity, so he seems down to earth therefore he probably doesn't mind chatting to people . It's possible that he could be shy. I have heard that he is a nice person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): Hi. I admit, i do fancy this band member, but i'm mature enough to know that nothing would happen in a romantic way ( also, i have a boyfriend, so i wouldn't be interested in doing that anyway ). I haven't mentioned that to the lead singer, and i wouldn't mention it to him either. I'd like to know more about his experiences of working with the bands he has been in. It's hard to think what else to write about though really. It would be nice to get to speak to him though online and/or in person. The thing is, it could be a long time before i get to go to any of their gigs ( if i get to see them at all ) , so it would be good to try to write to him before then, and also, he might know who i am before i go to the gig then . I know they are doing a couple of gigs next month, but they aren't close to where i live, so i'm not sure if i can go there, but the lead singer said they have been wanting to perform at a venue that's closer to where i live . He told me the name of the venue. So hopefully, i can see them there. They perform in very small venues, so there would be a good chance of meeting them after gigs. I've seen photos of other people meeting them too.I remember once, for example, i met a voice actor that i liked ( i didn't fancy him, i just liked his work ), after we had been keeping intouch online for a while. He knew who i was when i introduced myself to him. I think it's nice when you can get noticed, but i know it doesn't always happen. That also happened with a couple of actors that i met.The guys in both bands he has been in seem really nice and down to earth though.I did search on facebook and google about this band member, and he didn't have a facebook page, and he wasn't on any other social networking sites, so it could be true about him being a technophobe, or he might not have joined any of those sites because he doesn't want lots of people contacting him.
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A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (15 January 2013):
 You could ask the band where they are next playing and could you see them after the show. Let them know that you want to promote their music to other people and spread the word maybe then you can meet the guy you like and get chatting to him in person. Worth a shot.
But again CMMP is right, they could just be saying he's a technophobe to put people off trying to add him because maybe he wants the privacy and just people whom he's very close too or maybe he genuinely does not have facebook.
But if the lead singer will answer your questions maybe you can ask him about meeting the band to find out more about the music played and help promote them to other people who may enjoy listening to their music.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (15 January 2013):
You already did what you could regarding contacting him through the Internet. Either the "technophobe" line is a way to get rid of groupies or its true, but either way you probably won't have much luck trying again.
If your purpose is romantic in nature you may find it next to impossible to contact him, but you may be able to get a backstage pass at a show.
Famous people have so many people wanting to contact them that they probably don't take much of it seriously even if you were able to get him to read your message.
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