A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: During the weekend i spent time with my ex boyfriend and i had switched of my phone. my fiancee tried calling but could not get through.When he asked why my phone was off i told him i had a lot on my mind and just did not feel like talking to him, now he is worried and i do not have a reason that is convincing why my phone was off i am in South Africa and my fiancee is in england.please help i am really stressed because my fiancee needs to knowwhy my phone was off, i do not want to loose him
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female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (12 August 2009):
 there are thousands women outside looking for the kind of man like your fiance.. still remember to call his gf on the weekend.
why cant u be so grateful for this luck?
Cut your sneaking out action with your ex. What goes around, comes around.
Trust me. I have met many women so-not appreciative to their relationship, and then they end it with everlasting regret and tears after losing their men.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): Love is wonderful, but all relationships require trust to survive the tough times. You are being dishonest to your fiance and he doesn't deserve that. If the lies start before the marriage ever begins, where is that going to leave either of you. Think long and hard about what you have done. Be honest with your fiance. Then be honest with yourself about why you said yes when he asked you to marry him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 August 2009):
 Your phone was off because you KNEW that if your fiancee called he would figure out in 5 seconds flat that you were "hanging" out with your ex. It was EASIER or CONVINIENT for YOU to have the phone off, rather then being honest and DEAL with the facts.
It's called guilt..
FACTS are, you need to be honest. That means telling the truth. If you can not do that you really need to let your fiancee go. He deserve better.
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A
female
reader, \m/J.D\m/  +, writes (11 August 2009):
 rite missy first of all i do not under any circumstance condone cheating! you were with your ex and lied about it to your partner. i have no sympathy for you whatso ever :) your basically on here asking ppl to think up lies for you, that makes you even worse. be honest with him for crying out loud. hes sitting here in england waiting for you and your running around s/a with your ex!? shame on you.
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A
female
reader, simply.megan +, writes (11 August 2009):
If he did this to u, would you want him to ask us how to cover his ass?
Tell him what happened and your sorry and it was a mistake (assuming it was?) and you don't wana lose him.
But don't expect an ok with a hug then its back to normal. Either way he deserves to know..wouldn't u wana know if he did this to you?
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A
male
reader, SweetStu +, writes (11 August 2009):
 Why were you spending time with an ex boyfriend? Is the golden question. With or without your phone off at the time.
If I were in his shoes and my partner couldn't talk to me and chose to spend time with an 'ex', it would break my heart. And you could do this to his. But then to protect his heart you will have to lie. Tell the truth or you'll hurt yourself and others around you. The longer it goes on the more painful it will be - and these things always come out in the end.
I don't know the full ins and outs, but you need to speak to him immediately and be honest. Tell him why you didn't feel like speaking to him, if there's anything on your mind tell him that. But your actions alone, regardless of their intention are very difficult to oversee without a large amount of blind trust and belief on his part.
If you lie you may not lose him now, but you will do. Trust is paramount in any relationship.
I wish you both well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): if the situation were reversed and it was he who put his phone off to hang with an ex gf would you fall for that crap? You caused this and made a delibrate choice to emotionaly cheat, so woman up and deal with the consiquences and let him decide whether or not to stick around.
good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): Tell him you dropped in the toilet bowl along with your relationship...(just kidding, but seriously what were you expecting to get here? How old are you?)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): he will dump you as soon as he finds out not because you were out with your ex, because you lied to him.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 August 2009):
 This is dearcupid.org. Not dearcheater.org.
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A
male
reader, thelovetoomuchman +, writes (11 August 2009):
You should not be sneaking around behind his back in the first place!
I think explaining that you were with 'an old mate' could ease his mind.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): A lot depends on why your phone was off. If you were innocently passing the time of day with your ex, and nothing untoward happened, then tell your fiance the truth. He'll still be mighty suspicious though, I don't doubt. Why was it switched off? Only YOU can answer that one.
If, as sounds probable, you were cheating on him, this isn't the place to canvass advice on how to cover your tracks. Google 'how to cheat on your man', or visit 'Our Cheating Ways', which seem to be very popular sites with people who behave that way, and have an eye-poppingly inventive, but morally very dubious, litany of do's and don't's.
And try not to discard your conscience. If you're actually planning to marry your fiance, and the lies are starting already before you've even said 'I do', you'd do well not to condemn the poor guy to a life like that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): Heres what you should write,
Dear ^&**&, My phone was off at the weekend because deep down Im not sure we are making the right decision. Im not sure if us is such a cgood idea anymore. You should know that I spent time with my ex at the weekend and the lied about it. I dont know if you still want me but I think we need a break .
BE HONEST WITH HIM otherwise why in the name of God are you getting married to him.
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A
male
reader, passionatelynumb +, writes (11 August 2009):
 You should tell your fiance' the truth. Were you unfaithful or where you just catching up with your ex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): stop lying and tell him the truth he deserves to know.
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