A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a virgin, but for my own personal reasons I do not want my guy to know.We are having sex for the first time tomorrow night, and I'm afraid he might feel my hymen and know I lied to him. I don't care about the bleeding, since I know that can happen the first few times.
View related questions:
hymen Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 November 2009):
 Here is what can happen when there is deceit involved in any relationship, the party who is lied to generally isn't too happy about it:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/will-the-guy-be-mad-that-you-didnt.html
I hope you aren't regretting your decision. Take care.
A
female
reader, headwreck  +, writes (5 November 2009):
I don't think he will if he's not expecting it. I did the same to my ex bf....He had already made an issue out of sex. My problem was I made the mistake of telling him it had been my first time straight afterwards. He totally freaked out and a few days later dumped me. I was devasted at the time but a year on know I would never have wanted to be with someone who was so self centred about the whole issue anyway.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2009):
One more thought, it is rather inconsiderate of you not to reveal you are a virgin to him. What if he thinks you are more experienced than you are and hurts you? He deserves to have that information. You may cause him to have guilt for something he had no control over or knowledge of--is that fair? I don't think so. I also don't think a relationship built on lies is a healthy one. Just my 2 cents.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): You've got this all bass-ackwards. It's your inexperience that he will probably be more pleased with. It's the very experienced girl that he would probably be less enthusiastic about. Maybe this is not how you would feel about it, but HE IS NOT YOU. He is a male and males are generally not built the same way as females. And if you can't even talk about this with a guy, then why the hell are you about to give him your virginity? I'm sure he will be glad to sleep with you but he won't feel more attached to you for it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (4 November 2009):
 I would be surprised to hear a man could feel a hymen, but I've never been a man, so I can't honestly say. It's possible to break your hymen horseback riding, and a number of other non-sexual ways, so you may not have THAT as a worry. I CAN tell you it is pretty hard to hide that you are a virgin for so many other reasons...
Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): I'm very confused why would you lie about this...You know what EVERYONE is going to say...1. If you can't have some kind of open communication with this person, you shouldn't be having sex with them.2. I don't know why this is a big secret. 3. He's going to expect to just warm you up and probably slide it in (especially the age group, he's probably not going to be huge on foreplay). I think this would make it hurt more.4. I don't know if you fooled around any at all (i.e. technical virgin vs pure), but sex is different in porn versus in person, just seeing each other nude for the first time or a guy near you, touching you, etc - it's going to be different to say the least. Not to mention, experience-wise, you're going to have nothing to go on, don't think you're going to be an instant porn star, lol.5. If you're still intact, and if goes in slow, he'll feel something. If he just tries to slide it in quick, he may notice something when it's too late. Also, many people their first time, they can't get it in. They may have to try a few times (maybe that night sex isn't even possible).6. On the hymen thing, if he does oral first, and tries to finger you, he's obv. going to know. I'm virgin and still intact, physically they can tell. If yours isn't there, or you use tampons, or have been fingered, etc - it may be stretched to where it's not as noticeable.
...............................
A
female
reader, ellie:) +, writes (4 November 2009):
 why did u lie????????
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2009):
Well, can you feel your hymen?
...............................
|
