A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a 42 year old woman who often gets mistaken for being much younger. My problem is that I met a guy who is 37 and I lied (as i don't like to devulge my age) and said I was 38. I didn't think we would continue but it seems we have a spark there.The problem now is that I am obsessing over telling the truth. I don't know how to tell him and to be quite honest am afraid of being rejected. This sounds so ridiculous to myself as I write this but here I am on this forum. Of course I know that I have to be honest but I just wanted advice on "why do I have and how do I handle these crazy feelings of "fear of rejection". I realize it's not so much this person but I can't grasp why I am feeling like this way! Thanks!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Well,it so painful that you lied at the first instance but all hope is not lost.I think you should tell him the truth,don't be suprise he will accept you because there are people who appreciates truth.Despite telling him you're 38 he still accepted you,i see no reason why he would change his mind.Just be sure you give him the respect he deserves and you'll get love in return.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks!to you for your response! Lol though because we just met and it definitely would not be love! However your response and the one before have completely made me realize I was over reacting! Honesty saves so much stress! Tks!
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A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 First of all i would like you to know that you are not alone.
you are not the only person who keep a secret. but yes the saying that no body can hide the smoke when there is a fire.
Its not late yet. you can only choose. face it or run away from it. I would say face it. tell him the truth, fear will never kill you. every body has fear, you are not alone. fear can do no harm to you, its just making your scared. but fight it. take the risk., if you run away youre the loser, but if you face it and talk to him and tell him the truth who knows" maybe that would not change his feeling to you. maybe he do really love you. at least you did not run away you face it and its fine, its really fine, its ok, say it to your self, its ok, and try to fight this fear. i wish you good luck anyway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour absolutely right. Insecure and uncomfortable are not fun. I know exactly what I have to do and don't know why I am giving myself so much stress about it! I appreciate your response!
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A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 Being confronted with having to tell the truth probably exacerbates the insecurity that motivates you to lie in the first place. Now, you not only have to explain that you are older, but also that you are insecure and lied about it. It would make anyone super uncomfortable! I really feel for you. Just be assured that this is one of the MOST common lies told by women. And its not like you made yourself 10 years younger, its just a few years. If the spark is real, it won't matter, and if its not, maybe its better to know now anyway. Tell him like ripping off a band-aid, one-two-three RIP! Just get it out there. You won't feel better till you do. Also, you might just want to not answer that question rather than lying in the future. To avoid this scenario again. Good luck!
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