A
female
age
36-40,
*olly3
writes: im a 21year old girl im very confused.my past is very hard, i had a baby 2 years ago with the guy i loved and shortly after my baby was born she passed away due to an illness. since then me and my partner have been helping each other get through this with the odd arguments then it turned into big arguments,he was being so cruel and nasty to me i couldn't understand it when i was in love with him.one night i persuaded him to create a bebo site and everything seemed really good we were talking to friends and family and enjoying bebo, until one night we had a serious argument i went onto his bebo and found that he had over 20 conversations with girls planning to meet them and that he was leaving me for them, i felt like my heart had jumped out my body and that i had died.9months later after all eforts on my half trying to get him to see sence he finally then wanted me back and i got back with him.everything was going really great but i was so paranoid he was out doing stuff with them that i felt the relationship was suffering.We eventually started to move on and my friend tells me he loves me so i told my boyfriend and it all went horribly wrong, he was saying i was being different with him since iv found out.I had an argument with my boyfriend and he hit me so i packed my stuff and left, im at my friends now staying as i have nowhere else to go and i feel sad lonely and im crying constantly and thinking about him i just dont no what to do, have i made the right decision by leaving? if so why do i feel ill?im currently phoning him and texting him and i dont know why because he is just ignoring me every time and it hurts me so much tht he doesn't care about me i just dnt no what to do, should i give him up and move on?but what do i do if i see him in the street with some girl i don't like or even someone from his bebo page that he told me he didn't talk to anymore? i think id just be so hurt and mad that i would just be numb inside. pls help
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 April 2009):
You absolutely did the right thing and I hope you can stick to your decision. This guy is not a nice guy, he has treated you so badly and he doesnt deserve you.
I know it seems really hard at the moment but you are just going through a break-up, what you are feeling is totally normal. The most important thing is that you surround yourself with friends and family who can be there to support you and cheer you up when you are feeling rubbish.
If he hit you then it is a clear sign he is not even worth thinking about, you were just being honest with him by telling him what your friend had said and he completely lost it. A man does not hit a woman - it is a simple as that. And the flirting with other women on Bebo - this is just pathetic. He has messed you around so much so now it is time to realise that it is over for good and you have to start getting your life back on track.
You have been handed a second chance here - you have this idiot out of your life so now it is your chance to be happy. Leave all the heartache and pain he has caused in the past and start to enjoy life again, you are so young and have so much to look forwards to!
He is not worth another tear - you deserve a real man that loves you and wouldnt even dream of hurting you or making you cry. You really need to try to stop texting him and calling him - delete his number, email address, facebook etc so you have no way of contacting him again. For the first few weeks it will be very hard (almost like coming off a drug!) but eventually you will stop feeling the need to talk to him all the time. The more space you can get from him the more you will find it easier to move on. The worst thing you can do is text him and then sit by your phone waiting for him to reply (he never will!).
You have already been through so much in your life and I cant imagine how hard it all has been for you, but I do know that you will come out stronger for these experiences. Be strong and forget about this guy, turn your attention to doing the things that make you happy and then one day a real man will come along that knows how to treat you right.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): Im sorry about the loss of your child. I think your ex should have been far more supportive of you in those trying times. He sounds like a real jerk. And I'm old fashioned... NEVER should a man hit a female. You certainly did the right thing in my eyes. Don't worry yourself about this guy, you can find someone that will treat you worlds better. Maybe even that friend that said he loved you..
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