A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I lashed out to my boyfriend for the 3rd time after a party again and now we are broken up. I lashed at him about his daughter but Ive been very stressed with him for the past couple of weeks. He just has not been nice to me and I was going to tell him the other day we need a break. He said when he brought me home this means we are done and I said yes. What should I do.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 November 2015):
 Are you really surprised ? You lashed out once, you lashed out twice... third strike you are out. Most people dislikes to be " lashed out " at, whether there's good cause for the lashing out or not.
Particularly, I am pretty sure he felt you, as a gf, had no reason to lash out about his daughter. A parent/child relationship is a very sensitive, personal issue, the average parent denies to most everybody the right to interfere. So, it does not matter if his daughter is actually a bad person deserving your criticism - he must have felt that you were crossing firm boundaries.
I think all you should do now is learning from this experience and not repeating the same mistakes in future.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 November 2015):
 You got what you wanted...a break. Why are you asking us what you should do? Are you having second thoughts or are playing games with the guy?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): "He said when he brought me home this means we are done and I said yes. What should I do."
Believe him.
You put him in a position where he felt he had to choose between his daughter or his girlfriend, he made his choice, and it isn't you.
I can't say I blame him. You had no reason to tread on his relationship with his daughter no matter her age. You crossed a boundary that shouldn't be crossed and now you have to face the consequences.
All you can do is learn from your experience and move on.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (25 November 2015):
If he wants to be done, there's nothing you can do other than move on.
He is a grown man, and doesn't need your permission to break up with you. Just like if it was the other way around. He couldn't force you to stay with him if you wanted out.
So what you should do is focus on yourself, and move on with your life.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (25 November 2015):
He has been around his daughter and is likely much, much closer to her than he is to you. Depending on the situation, you may have put him into a situation where he was faced with taking sides.Janniepeg is correct when she says that some people do not like confrontations. If he has never been confrontational with you, he may be one of these people. I am, and between you lashing out and bringing his daughter into the mix, I'd likely have been finished with you after he first instance, especially if you were trying to tell me what to do with my daughter.You can try an apology, which will pretty much be a Hail Mary in your case. Only time can heal this fissure, and probably won't. Do something with your temper problem before you go looking for the next guy. Good guys who come without baggage at your age are getting few and far between.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): He is 58 years old and I am 60. This refers to a widow and a daughter who is married
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 November 2015):
 There's no age indicated by I am guessing he's just over thirty, you are a little bit younger and his daughter is about 8. There are different fighting styles, and different cultures have their own. Some people prefer to vent everything, engage in shouting matches and they allow the other to do so, until they are both drop dead exhausted at the end. They feel this is healthier than bottling things inside. Some people are very sensitive can not stand even single confrontations. After the fight there comes a point when you know if you meant it or not. Then the next morning you either feel very different or you think a break up is still in place. It sounds like you feel you are unsure if you made a mistake and want to tell him.
What you are fighting about matters too. Parenting is a sore point. It's the most sensitive area, especially when you are a step parent. You can argue with him for what he did to you, but about how he disciplines his daughter is a very personal issue. Even if his daughter is an out of control, disrespectful spoiled rat, it is hard to see changes by simply tell him what he has to do with her.
You may be incompatible with him. Some people believe you should allow children to be themselves, and give them freedom to express. Some believe in strict discipline.
If you decide to be with him, then you have to accept he's a (put your adjective here) father, and you have to be supportive.
More information can be helpful. How has his daughter caused problems? Did she disrespect you, was she too loud, did she side with her mom against you? Did your boyfriend turn a blind eye on this issue?
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