A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 and i have never had sex. I don't want a one night stand after an incident over the summer where one of my friends did it with a 14 year old (after she said she was 16) yet I can't through a relationship as I'm too socially unconfident around women and I find it hard to connect to them. Doesn't help that I would win the award for geek of the week every other week and that nearly all the friends on my hall at uni have done something in their life. I need some help, and not the "just go out and do it" because it is too difficult for me to do that.
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male
reader, Dustin587  +, writes (14 November 2007):
 Don't worry about it. I am sure you are going through a lot of pressure to have sex (especially since you're attending a university), but don't let it get to you. It's not *that* special.
Also, I could easily be considered a geek as well, but after awhile, you start meeting people that are just like you - maybe one of those people will be a female with similar interests. I go to a community college, so I don't meet very many people my age, which helped me a lot. Maybe you are very mature and find older women more attractive. I know this was the case for me. I always thought I was weird cuz I didn't feel right around women my age, but I later found out why - I wasn't attracted to women my age and I find older women more attractive.
Overall, just start relaxing and meeting new people. Eventually, things will start happening on their own. Don't fall for peer pressure - it can mess up your life.
A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 You know what... so what?? If you are a virgin and a geeky guy, thats fine... you'll meet someone you'll feel comfortable with and do it. You'll find out is not such a big thing.. I mean, it does feel good, it is very pleasurable but it isn't walking on the moon.
My bf and now fiance is VERY geeky considering the type of guys I used to go out with. We met online (maybe the only way he could really sweet talk me) when he was 32. Guess what, he was a virgin (not for long though). He is great at sex (he got to see a lot of porn and he read articles and downloaded videos to teach him the how toos). He is one of the greatest lover I've had and we are getting hitched next year.
The thing is he continued to live a great life, he learned theoretically what needed to be done, he read a couple of books on relationships and he improved what needed to be improved. And now I am having it all for me!
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A
female
reader, Angel dust  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 hey sweetie.... its so good that there are guys like you with values nowadays. Dont worry about others that already did it. Most of the teenagers do it because of peer pressure and that theywant to be cool in the other's eyes.
Be proud of yourself, that you respect girls and that you want your first time to be special as thats how it should be. When you belive in your self everything looks cooler to others. Dont feel like a geek... coz your not!
Honestly id rather go out with a guy who never had done it, instead of a guy that done it a zillion times. When its the right timing you ll know and you dont have to go everything by the book just relax and let go.
Just believe in yourself, find things and maybe even write them down on a piece of paper that you like of yourself or what others like in you and read it every morning before you start the day. This will help you remeber who you really are and whats imp to you and not pressure yourself that you have to do it. Think always positive...
take care :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): well for a start its not really important you've never had sex, so what? i think there's some peer pressure perhaps? (talking about other ppl at uni). Don't worry, just get on with life normally and something WILL happen. At somepoint you'll meet someone and she'll blow your mind, and trust me from my limited experience, you'll find the confidence from somewhere to talk to her and who knows what else?Best of luck mate
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