A
female
age
36-40,
*obin101
writes:I am currently in a realationship with my boyfriend of three months,although this seems like a short period of time to be serious,he has introduced me to all his family and friends and there is a very strong bond there.However,he is leaving in two months time to go back to la, where he works,i am based in england.On a night out with a friend recently,I got very very drunk,to the point of black out, and ended up having a one night stand. Initially, i did feel guilt,but felt it was a subconscious act as a result of my fears about my boyfriend leaving in two months. That morning when i woke i was trying to piece the night together. who is this guy next to me? He couldnt find his wallet and had to leave urgently for work. so i told him if i found it i would give him a call. He also told me that he has a girlfriend,i was in the same boat too ,i told him. I took his contacts as i felt it was the decent thing to do. later i found it in the sitting room. I called him to arrange a place for him to collect it. I work in a busy bar as a waitress and said id leave it behind the bar for him. I have been having a affair with this guy for the past month, he started texting me a lot and called into my work and waited outside until i had finished. This is my first time sneaking around, and to be honest i am addicted to the excitement. He has invited me to his work parties as he knows i am intellectual and can hold my own in a discussion. I have even met his boss. He sees our affair as rock in roll, and enjoys the idea of having a mistress. recently i stormed out of a night club, sick of being second best, i didnt answer his calls but he persisted and i eventually i gave in and answered his call. He has a girlfriend, who he loves but they dont have sex and he isnt attracted to. He doesnt mention her out of respect. when i mention my boyfriend,he get jealous and doesnt want to know. Recently after spending the night together he mentioned that his girlfriend has ms and that he views their realationship as familial, that he views her like a sister and that he loves to care for her. I am twenty two and he is thirty eight. which is quiet a gap, he runs a business in a area i am actually studying in college, so our realationship is not purely physical it extends to intellectual and we have great fun together. I am beginning to fall for him and have lost all attraction for my boyfriend that i know adores me, but im just too attracted to the danger of the realationdship. I know this is a realationship cul de sac,but we are having too much fun. I also appear very confident and often times men dont see my vulnerable side. I know im going to get hurt from this realationship , and know that the best option is to stop the affair out of respect for my boyfriend. what should i do?
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affair, drunk, has a girlfriend, jealous, mistress, one night stand, period, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, uncle Frank  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 stop!
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 The same thing you do if you're driving and about to hit a wall...pump your brakes and stop. Trust your intuition.
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