A
male
age
36-40,
*alfwater
writes:hello, i am 25 and split with my girlfriend 4 weeks ago, we where together for 3 years and its really broken my heart when we ended, the reason we finished was because her mum passed away and a week later she ended our relationship, she said she needs to do this to feel 100% with her self and she is so sorry, says she just cannot feel any love for me anymore with the loss of her mum and feels this is the only way to get through this! this really hit me hard as i love her so much more than anything i never seen this coming!!after 3 weeks of us ending i have tryed texting and ringing to try work things out and see if she is ok but it is making her mad! she is telling me i need to move on! but i carnt move on as i love her still with all my heart, i know she still loves me but she just will not say it!! i dont know what to do some advice whould be nice please! should i just play it cool and leave it and move on or should i leave it a few months and try again i dont know what to do and its killing me!!!!
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Leave her alone, she's going through a lot right now and doesn't need your pestering to add to it. See how she feels in a few months, but until then, leave her alone.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 September 2010):
 She needs space. She's dealing with her grief in her own way and you need to respect that. You know the old saying, if you love something set it free... That's what you need to do. It will suck, but give her time. Forcing her to deal with your relationship issues is selfish and will push her away for good.
I would suggest getting a nice card and writing a simple note in it. Something along the lines of, "I know you're dealing with a lot right now. I'm sorry I was pushing you. Please know that I am there for you if you need someone to talk to. You know where I am if you need me.
Love, halfwater."
Don't profess undying love. Don't put "I love you." Keep it simple and let her know you'll be there for her if she needs it. Then walk away. She'll contact you when she's ready. If you don't hear from her in a couple of months, maybe give her a call to see how she's doing. If you get nothing then... Then it's time to move on for good.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 September 2010):
You don't know she loves you. That's the problem. She's making it more than clear that she doesn't and just wants you to move on. Sometimes when a major life change comes along, people make new plans, and things change. When your ex's mother died, her life changed and she decided to take a new path.
The price is that you've been burnt for her new life.
Now you need to move on, just as she says. She won't come back, as you'll always be a reminder to her of the time her mother died. She is moving on, and you need to as well.
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