A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 21 and never got involved with a guy before.I used to love being single. Then Imet this guy online who used to be my classmate and a big flirt.He lives in another city.We spend a very lovely time together for 1 month when he was in my cityfor holidays.This happened a year ago.Now, we both fell in love. According to him,initially,it was just another fling for him,but after getting to know me he got really serious.Now the things have changed so much. He left me after 6 months saying long distancerelationships can't work.But then came back to me after one month, telling me thather previous gf who left him came back to his life and he got confused, so he left me.How, convenient!Now, its been an on-off relationship since then. He talks to me whenever he likes otherwisedoesn't even bother to pick up my calls, saying that he was busy. Me too doesn't plead him for love,cuz I have my own self-respect.Now, the thing is- I really like this guy. I dont know the reason,maybe because he is myfirst love,am unable to leave him. After seeing the situationsI know it will be sensible to leave him, but I am unable to do that. Help me.This guy is driving me crazy!
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fell in love, flirt, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the situation now has little modifications. Th guy i am in love wid is in my city 4 past 1 month bt still v hardly met for 4 days.N now he is again insisting for a breakup. The thing is now he is goin 2 b in my city 4 2 more months n i thot it was goin 2 b better cuz after tht i mayb movin 2 his city.N thn i thot it ws time 2 bring this relation on track. But suddenly he started askin for break up again. I dont know. I dont feel any confident anymore. I feel so low. there is this person whom i want 2 b wid so desperately who is tryin 2 get rid of me wid same level of desperation :(Now he is sayin tht i m characterless cuz i said yes 2 a proposal(his proposal) whch was made to me online. He said i just want any other guy in my life. I dont know wht has happened to him!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): You are not a lightswitch that he can turn on and off as he pleases. You are right to keep your self-respect. It seems he could still be a big flirt.
Look at the competition. There are plenty of others out there who will treat you better.
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A
male
reader, ISOHaven  +, writes (6 May 2009):
It would seem you have already asked yourself, does this relationship make me happy? Your answer looked to be an astounding NO. You realize you should move on but aren't quit sure how to do as such.
This certainly is the hard part isn't it? When I was in the middle of a divorce I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. Then a friend of mine told me that a real good tool to use was eHarmony. Sit down, setup an account and answer all the questions. You don't have to pay for anything at first if you don't want to. But the awesome thing is, that site has a lot of great tools to help you to learn about yourself. To begin with the site told me a lot about myself that really made me think! Then I started to get matches! You can read their profile but you can't interact with them unless you pay.
It didn't take long before I wanted to message back and forth between a couple of the gals I was matched up with. So I took the plunge. What happened next was you are able to ask other people questions. This part was FUN!!!! At least for me. I was able to ask tons of people questions and I answered tons of questions.
It was a major eye opener for me and it helped to realize just how many other fish are in the sea and how many of those fish wouldn't treat me as bad as my ex treated me.
I'm no longer on eHarmony because I'm currently dating a gal I met on there. Going on three months! Maybe you could get started and just see what's out there? Who knows, maybe you'll realize this other guy isn't worth your time any more?
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