A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help! This is my situation. I've been dating an older man for about a month and a half now. He's thirty three and im only nineteen. A short time before we started seeing each other he had just broken up with his girlfriend of three or more years. He was heartbroken, and asked me to be his best friend because he needed somebody there. This eventually turned into more, and here I am today. He bought a ring and asked me to marry him. Of course, me being willing to please everyone, I said yes. Our lifestyles are completely different, and they would never work out in a marriage. He wants to stay here, while I wanted to leave and move off to another state one day. I also still have feelings for a previous ex, and I wouldn't feel right about getting married while emotionally not all there. I've tried before to end this relationship, but he always comes looking for me. He cries and begs. I don't know what to do anymore. I need help!
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best friend, heartbroken, older man Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (21 October 2009):
 You need to leave. I know this is hard but you will never be happy unless you do. Tell him gently but firmly you need to go your separate ways.
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Sophiea12  +, writes (21 October 2009):
I know you dont want to hurt his feelings, and believe me i know how that feels. But you deserve to be happy.
I don't know if you have tried to speak to him or maybe you have and it hasnt worked. I suggest breaking off all contact, its the only way if being nice doesnt work. He needs to appreciate your happiness aswell as his own. It also sounds like he himself is still hung up on his ex and he is not being a mature adult about his feelings. I truely do hope things get better, i know how awful it is when you dont want to upset another.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 October 2009):
You have to sit him down and tell him firmly that it is over, and there is no chance of a reconcilliation. You must then cease all contact, and if he gets into contact with you, continue to say no and continue to stop the contact. That's all you can do. Just don't take him back again, because you're never going to be able to find that guy and he's going to continue to chase.
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