A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I did the stupidest thing a guy could do.. over a year ago I cheated on my girlfriend. It was just a kiss.. and I told her about it. Yesterday she broke up with me because she said she's tired of worrying about me doing it again. I was so.. childish back then. I was an idiot. but now I've changed. I don't deserve her back but I want her back. Should I even try or should I let her go. I know we could have something great if she just gave me one more chance. and how do I gain her trust again?-Dustin
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, agony aunt j  +, writes (18 March 2007):
 you have to understand that what you did may always be at the back of her mind, because trust is so easy to lose yet unbelievabley difficult to gain again.
but although what you did was wrong, you told her about it which already shows you are an honest kind of guy. some would say you should forget it but i disagree. i think you shouldn't give up - not only does this show that you wouldn't DREAM of doing it again (hopefully!) it also shows her that you are not going to quit on your relationship. it should make her see you care about her and that you're sorry. Try not just talking, but actions to prove to her that you're sorry. i've always been told actions speak louder than words. if she does eventually give you a chance with something, even if it's only little, like having a drink together or coming round for lunch, dont mess it up! show her that you're sorry and that you would'nt do it again, you've learnt your lesson. Speak from your heart, not from what i'm telling you to say. Whatever you do, i wouldn't give up. But dont bother pestering her if you're going to do it again because people deserve better than that.
hope it goes ok!
:):)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): I appreciate you admitting that you shouldn't have done what you did. BUT, it's done. Learn from it. From a woman's point of view, that (which is just like having an affair) is probably THE most thing that could and will destroy a wonderful relationship. It takes a lot to get over something like that and truthfully, most women will not get back with the person that has done this to them. It's hard to look them in the face and see the person that was there before. For some reason, we just see the man as different now. Some women can work through this, but from my experience it doesn't last long. The "kiss" will be thrown back in your face down the road. You can try to patch things up again with her, and I do seriously wish you the best, however, being as young as you are...please know that this is not something a woman will tolerate. I totally agree with everything the guy said below me, but I also wanted to share from a female's point of view. Good Luck to you.
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