A
male
age
36-40,
*lias me
writes:I find myself getting really infatuated over this girl. Its really worrying as I am finding myself getting almost obsessive and I am hating this.Logically I know I shouldn't try for someone like her, I know she cheats on boyfriends she's been with and just recently shes been having an affair with a married guy at work even though shes single.She's kind of flirty with me, she giggles most of the time when talking to me and she laughs at what I say even when I aint trying to be funny. She gives me looks and flirty vibes I feel at times but then again she's kinda like that with other guys and she doesn't always respond to my emails...When I was talking to another girl at work she kept asking me about me and this other girl if anything was happening. Just yesterday she kept asking me how many children I want to have and telling me to think about it.Also yesterday she said to me that I'm a really lovely guy and that there should be more people in the world like me. I dont know she only seems to really like guys who are bad treat her like a bit on the side.I need help with what to do I'm my mid 20's never had a gf still a virgin, shes in her 30's had loads of one night stands and partners so she probably thinks that I'm nothing special.I try to do nice things for her all the time but she doesn't really notice, how can I turn it around? how can I move on not let it affect me any more? Should I just leave, I am finding it really difficult to meet girls and I am really struggling now please help !
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affair, at work, flirt, girl at work, move on, one night stand, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2014): You are assuming things.You have painted a picture of her as an easy lay. Maybe she is just being friendly with everyone else. Maybe its your feelings for her that make you feel this obsessive and jealous.How do you know if she had one night stands or if she has had lots of partners? Did she tell you?
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (2 March 2014):
 You only feel you want her because you have not had anyone else and she's an easy lay.
It's hard to admit, but you are probably hoping you can hook up with her to lose your virginity because she's a bit of a bike and you wouldn't need to make any commitment to her...and that's OK if it gets you what you want.
Don't dress it up in an infatuation, she isn't worth that. Her actions are speaking to your subconcious and you know there is less chance of a rejection with her and that in itself can be intoxicating to someone looking to break their virginity.
You haven't made it clear if you work with her? and if you do, I would avoid getting hooked up with her. Things rarely go the way you think they will with people like her because she obviously only cares about herself.
Try to separate the 'wanting to lose your virginity' from the 'wanting a relationship'...this girls IS NOT relationship material.
You are still young. A lot of people hold on to their virginity later these days because we are all living very remote lives and want our own personal space. Take up more activities, join a dating site and work on your own self esteem. Be who you want to be, don't just fall into stupid situations just because they offer you an easy route.
Your gut is screaming 'NO' regarding this woman, you are trying to find ways to ignore it...and that will bring you nothing but trouble.
Be mindful and procede with extreme caution.
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