A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey guys. this is a weird one but plz help!!!i've recently went back home to europe to c my family over christmas. Went out with my mum for new year and we bumped into her cousin that i never really saw before and there was a heavy attraction from both sides. I'm not into older men at all but he's 41 and I'm 23. He's got 4 kids (which feels very weird for me) but is divorced. Anyway we ended up at his (my mum doesn't know though) and we had amazing sex and really got on well. He did tell me later though that he has got a gf at the moment and they got 1 kid together but dont live together. And now it's too late as we met up again and I'm kinda falling for him. It just all happened so quick, I'm normally not like that with men. In fact I don't even bother these days coz I always meet the wrong ones (I know I'm still young and that lol) It was just so nice and exciting prob the most exciting thing i've done so far:-)menwise lol.But obviously I feel guilty coz of his gf and the kid, he said he's not happy but I know that doesn't nec mean anything. But unf I do start to feel for him. And I'm very picky. Although my family would kill me if they knew. At the moment we just talk online as I'm back in the uk but we wanna meet again. I'm just so confused. I know he's prob not the right person for me (and he is a bit of 'trouble' as well i think lol) but as i said I'm falling for him. so what can i do? plz help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): he cheated on his gf with you. alarm bells, why isn't it ringing loud and clear for you.
you just met a man and had sex with him all in one day. alarm bells again??
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Find somebody you're not related to, who doesn't have kids or a girlfriend, who lives in your country, and isn't 'trouble.'
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick  +, writes (8 January 2010):
 Well! you already nailed him, so dont trick yourself and believe just cause it was so good, it will be that good the next time you nail him, it was just one of those spur of the moment rush's, as far as his girlfriend and kid go, It sounds like that's on him, it's not like you were plotting this whole thing out, if you had been then you should feel guilty, Id just leave it at a one time thing if were me, I never had any cousins that let me bang them, but if I did, I probably would have(LOL)probably best to leave it alone though, thats what I think!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Cut contact. Immediately.
You know this is never gonna work. If he can cheat in his girlfriend (the mother of his child btw) then he CAN, and in all likelihood probably will, cheat on you.
Its not his age. But by his age he should know better than to go out and bang the first body he can find when things get a little rough with his girlfriend.
And you are old enough to know better too.
I would tell his girlfriend what happened and then cease all contact with both of them.
And add to the fact you two are realted... though distantly... and you are being thrown clues as to why doing ANYTHING with him was a bad idea. Certainly continuing to do so definitely is.
Let him go and start dating again. Its the only way.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, ashaseth01  +, writes (7 January 2010):
you had your fun now its time to get out. You dont deserve a guy two women already consider worthless. Find someone your age and someone worthy of you. He is your uncle. Let him be just that. Nothing more. Not worth it.
You say you have fallen for him! then unfall.. he is trouble. and misery. you deserve much better. Dont ruin ur life in search of excitement. If you seek excitement, go bungeejumping or rockclimbing. Relationships aren't meant to be treated this recklessly. You will just end up feeling hurt and used at a later stage in life.
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A
male
reader, Jager +, writes (7 January 2010):
I cant tell you what to do but i want you to think about some points that need consideration.
1 You are related, in the eyes of your family this could be very wrong.
2 he has 4 kids from 2 different people
3 he's already divoiced
4 its exciting because its taboo
5 18 year age gap
6 long distance relationship
7 his not single
Just some points to consider
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