A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi :)Hope you can help me..I was with my boyfriend for 2 yrs, he is a nice person, but things didn't work out for loads of reasons, mainly because he has always been mothered, expects people to do things for him and he doesn't think to repay back, because his family have brought him up and done everything - like looking after his kids, lending him money and feeding him. When we moved in together, things changed, I work full time as does he, but it would irritate me that I saved my money, then I had to pay for things, I lent him money, but got it back 2 years on..I even got him a huge payout through PPI, but he still asked me for money. I loved his kids like my own aswell, but his ex was horrible and he would never stand up to her Anyway, I had enough, I felt alone and down, I was the one making our relationship work and it left me exhausted. Don't get me wrong though, he did truly love me, but just took for granted. So I left, got a new house. Anyway, a week ago he was texting me telling me how upset he is, wants me back, that he is sorry and that he will spend the rest of his life making it up to me. I told him I want some space - however I have since found out this woman sent him a picture of herself nude!! It's broke me..I don't know why!! It disgusts me and I feel physically sick..it seems he has moved on in a week!! I don't want to feel down, I have made the right decision but the only reasons why I did it was because he wasn't putting any effort into our future - not that I didn't love him. I miss his kids aswell. Just need some Dutch courage please. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers. I just feel down, I was told about the pics..
Yes you are right about him moving mountains, but he does not have a lot of initiative. I had to do everything - even apply for jobs for him!
He is a very simple man and I am not - I long for adventure, quality time together and not being second best..it's just hard as I do love him.
I am trying to move on, have deleted everything about him, but my head is tormented with pics of him and another girl.
Thank you all again x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2013): Go through the pain barrier and you'll come out the other side. By the sounds of it you were right to end the relationship. Of course he would like to have you back, you did so much for him, but really, it was very one sided. You have no guarantee that he wouldn't revert back to type. Be strong and think of all the negatives if you wobble.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (11 October 2013):
 How did you find out about someone sending him a nude pic? Did he tell you? or did a friend tell you?
If you are determined to end things then you need to cut the contact so he cannot come at you with sweet words.
Try to focus on why the relationship ended and ask yourself what would realistically change if you took him back?
I doubt he's moved on because of a nude pic but it could be that he is playing games and messing around, so what does that tell you?...that maybe he cannot change? and that you did the right thing?
Women get blinded by sweet talk, it's like a huge broom that sweeps all the bad stuff away, but give it long enough and the crap soon comes flowing back.
If this bloke REALLY wanted to invest in a future with you, he'd be making some pretty big changes and moving mountains, not just throwing a few sweet words around!!!
Get busy and get on with your life, focus on work, catching up with friends and family, making new connections. If you want him back, think about what terms that has to be on:
He pays half the house bills
He does an equal share of the cleaning and laundry
He sorts out his ex/kids issues...
Cos that's what you want...right?
If he cannot prove he can do those things then you just have to accept he isn't the one for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 October 2013):
 He might not have MOVED on, but people move one or TRY to move on in different ways, maybe HIS way was jumping headfirst into another woman. He didn't do it to hurt you, but maybe to boost his ego.
Maybe it;s not such a bad thing, at least getting back with him should be a LOT less tempting.
What you have to remember is that HIS actions has no bearing on you, or on how he felt about you.
Chin up and personally, I would cut the contact, it's not helping you to stay in touch. I understand missing the kids though.
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