A
female
age
36-40,
*ia.anabel.13
writes:Hello!To make it short..for couple of months this married man is getting more and more close to me.He is older than me, I am 28 he is 50..we met at work. He said things like he cannot live without me as a joke, he makes time to see me everyday - during work - he compliments me regarding my work performance and so on.. he NEVER mentioned his wife in 9 months(he wears a wedding ring). I tried to ask him about his weekends, his holidays but he always refers to him like he would be alone, sleeping, relaxing but never mentions his wife or family.. also he is behaving like a man who is very interested and has developed feeling for me and who is attracted to me..it feels like we have some kind of relationship but we don't. His constant presence and attention make me confused..what does he want? is he building a relationship? why is he still not revealing his intentions..how long will he follow me like this? I feel confused since I am not sure what he wants? I know he really likes me and I can see it, he is very involved but I just cant understand why is he going like this forever without just saying to me what he wants and how he feels? Do you think he wants a relationship or is this an obsession?
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female
reader, gia.anabel.13 +, writes (13 October 2013):
gia.anabel.13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for your answers...I want to stay away from troubles since I don't wish to destroy anyone's life...I really don't want anyone to suffer because of me...also I don't want to get hurt myself...it's already enough of a pain this situaton...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2013): He may be lonely & feeling better around you. For sure he likes you. He knows not to cross the line and mess things up in many peoples lives. If you were less puzzled, you may be his favorite acquaintance in his mid-life years. He will be thankful for your [friendly] affection one day. If you feel threatened, uncomfortable, or if he tries to cross the physical/extramarital relationship line, do what others say. Walk away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2013): It doesn't make any difference what he wants or what his intentions are. You know he is married and that should be enough right there to keep it professional, cordial and a certain amount of distance from this guy. He's old enough to be your father, and you are young enough to be his daughter. This guy is playing with fire and the last thing you need to do is hand him more fuel for it.He is not saying anything because he is testing the waters with you. It's only a matter of time when you give him just the right signal for cheating boundaries to be crossed. Do the right thing and don't get caught up in that kind of mess. You will regret it and everyone involved will get hurt. It's not worth lowering yourself to a man who is behaving this way.Remind yourself that you would not want a man (or your spouse down the road) to do this to you and be a united front for women who have respect for themselves not to be a mistress, the other women or find yourself living in a fantasy that this man will leave his wife to have a relationship with you. Just don't go there. Do not flirt with him, do not say anything inappropriate, do not engage in any conversation that is suggesting anything but business and small talk with this guy. He will hopefully get the hint and back off. Your interest in him needs to change immediately before this goes to a place it should not go. His flattery and attention to you is out of line. His energy, flattery and attention should be geared towards his wife and he should be at work doing his job. End of story.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 October 2013):
 And if he wants a relationship what will you do?
does it matter to you that he's probably married long term with children and maybe grandchildren?
does it matter to you that at his age he's on the down side and at your age you would be wiping his butt when he can't reach?
what does he want? why does WHAT HE WANTS matter? why are his wants and needs more important than yours?
the real question is WHAT DO YOU WANT? clearly you want something from him. his attention strokes your ego and gives him fantasy material for either sex with his wife or masturbation.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 October 2013):
 Does it matter WHAT he wants? You should (if you have any sense) stay away from that potential drama. He is MARRIED- does that mean ANYTHING to you?
It could also be that he likes to flirt with you, because he sees you as a young woman who is NO threat to his marriage and whom he can safely flirt with.
If you however, are this uncertain. CUT the flirting out.
IS is OK to use some common sense.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2013): Don't worry about what he wants, or his intentions - rather, focus on getting away! He is married, is much older, and is going on a downward spiral pretending he is single.
Set boundaries, be very clear and firm that you are not interested in him romantically and remain friendly but professional - that is the quick way to stay out of trouble.
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A
female
reader, malvern +, writes (11 October 2013):
 He fancies you and he's flirting with you. The reason he doesn't say what he wants and how he feels is because he knows the whole thing is impossible because he's married. He's probably got a lovely wife and family at home but seeing you everyday is brightening his boring hum-drum little life. In fact his children are probably around the same age as you! Brush off his advances as politely as you can and don't encourage him in any way. Don't even encourage him into conversations, just comment briefly on whatever he may be talking about, show a lack of interest and walk away. There are men like him all over the place. You just have to get on with your own life, make friends in your own age group and find yourself a boyfriend of your own age.
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