A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am so confused about my situation. I know I have move on but why I still keep thinking about it that one day will be back together.My bf broke up with me before New Years Eve. He told me 12/27/09 that we have different goals in life. That he doesn’t want kids anymore coz he already had 2 from his previous wife. And he said he will never get married again. As soon as he told me that…I was like shocked and surprised. I cannot believe he was saying that in front of me. It’s not like him. He came back from vacation from where he lives for a week and came back after Christmas with that. I was so devastated and heart broken. He told me it wasn’t me – it’s about him. I know for sure I didn’t do anything wrong. I did everything I could just to work things out.And on top of this since his female friend came out on this situation everything falls apart. It just all happened in 2 months after we came back for our cruise for 7 nights. They found each others on FB. But he told me it’s just a friend that this person was still together with the husband. I told him one day that I don’t appreciate the fact that he’s talking to her everyday. But he never respects my wishes. I love him so much and it hurts a lot but I did let it go or I just ignored it.I thought everything is working fine with us. I go see him every night after work and stayed with him and spent all the weekend too as well. We mostly do things together.So, I didn’t spend NYE with him – we had plans that we are going out to a club with friends. But I sent him a message if he’s still up to it and he said he doesn’t feel like partying and he said he needed space. I asked him if he has issues with me and he said no. I asked him if he got problems with family, kids, work or etc and he said no. Every time I ask him something he always says “I don’t know”. WTF!!! All he said he needed “SPACE” and he doesn’t know what he wants.I was hurt so bad. Never in my life happened to me that a guy said something like that. It’s my first time getting dump??? If that’s what you call it! I cried for 2 nights and that’s about it. After 2 weeks, I texted him and ask if I can go over to his place to get the rest of my stuffs. So, I went and it’s like nothing happen between us. We chat about our weeks was…how we are doing and stuffs. So, I hang out with him that day and went car shopping and to the mall. No more feelings in between. And I found out that he travel 7-8 hours just to hang out with that female friend. I was hurt inside because he didn’t spend it with us instead with this girl (the reason of this issue) but didn’t show it at all that I was upset. So, I don’t call or text him on the weekdays – but last Saturday night around 11pm I texted him. I don’t know what I was thinking. I told him that I wanted to see him. So I droved over to his apt and spend the night and hang with him the next day. I told everybody that I am over him because of what he did but still with him. My friends are so upset with me – and I do understand them. He hurt me but I’m still here with him. I love him so much and I want him back.I am so confused. I am afraid to ask him if we are totally over or not. What should I do? Am I just hurting myself here aight?! Need your opinion guys! Thanks a lot!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate today. I know this is not the right to do today but one of my friend advise me to send him a message. So, I did. I asked him to be true and honest with me if he's still want to be with me or not. And he said "don't know...honest". And he told me too that he likes my company but not the critics! And sent him back if he still want to work things out, if he still love me or not or else I can move on and leave him alone. But until now he never reply. Hmm, he likes to play games or he doesn't know what he wants so time to get it of him I guess.
A
male
reader, MetalMike +, writes (18 January 2010):
First off, if he didn't have a backup girl, he'd still be with you, guarenteed. CaringGuy is right. You really should move on. There are millions of fish in the sea. There's no reason you should have to stick around and wait for this idiot. If you do wait for him, and he suspects you will, even if he does come back to you, he'll most certainly leave you again for the next woman who comes by, because he knows you're there and will take him back every time. Sooner or later this new girl will get sick of him, and when he comes crawling back to you, tell him "you lost a good thing buddy. Too bad for you I'm not a door mat. Now buzz off!"
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): by the sounds of what u have written i would say he is seing that female friend now but if you can tell him how u feel about the whole situation and see what he says and also going to his place all the time and stop texting him all the time as you will never be able to get over him. hope this helps
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 January 2010):
I'mm pretty certain it's over. To be honest, from what I've read of your situation, it seems like since he found that other women, his feelings for you have changed. I'm not saying he's having an affair with her, but there is something going on when a man drives 8 hours to see a married women when he has a girlfriend. To my mind, I think he's after her, and I think you would be better off cutting contact with him and ending it. Don't sit there and be second best.
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