A
male
age
51-59,
*1k3 123
writes:Hi.I am really confused and need advice. Here goes with a bit of background and my position.I am an almost 49 year old man and have been married for almost 25 years.we have 3 Kids.one of which has now left home. My wife gave up work 17 years ago to look after the kids and has never gone back to work. I earn quite a good salary and am self employed and she took the view that it wasn't tax efficient for her to work. I accept that but would have liked her to have gone back to work to take some of the stress from me. I have always told her she was beautiful and that I loved her and found her attractive and encouraged her to use her free time to find friends, to do the things she wants and generally to make the most of herself. About 10/12 years ago she stopped fancying me stopped telling me she loved me and wasn't particularly interested in sex. At the same time I was badly affected by the financial crisis and was having to work harder to make ends meet. I was working long hours. When I came home she generally wasnt there ans would have been visiting her Dad and would have the kids with her. I would make the dinner and tidy the house. Generally when she came in she would say that the dinner wasn't very tasty and she would have cooked it differently. When I would clean the house she would come around after me and redo the work saying it wasn't how she would do it. This all really affected my confidence. In my work life I am really well respected and I found this really difficult but put up with it as I love her and I really believe in marriage. Anyway about 5 years ago through business I met a really successful and yes attractive woman through work. She encouraged me and was interested in what I was doing in work etc. I got on really well with her and about 3 years ago she made it clear she was attracted to me. My wife and I met this woman and her husband a few times on a social basis and when my wife picked up that this woman was interested in me she began to be sexually interested in me again. I resented this and I am ashamed to say the inevitable happened and I embarked on an affair. My wife found out about the affair about 6 months ago and I ended it. I have been back in contact with the other woman and the truth of the matter is I believe I love her.however I also still love my wife but am no longer attracted to her in the same way. Meanwhile the other lady is very clearly and vocally in love with me. She is now understandably pushing me to move out and make a life with her. I know I would have an amazing loving life with her but I don't feel that I can break away or should break away from my wife and kids. I came from a broken home with an alcoholic father and the thought of putting my wife and kids through pain and heartache tears me apart. I don't know what to do. My kids still at home are 16 and 13. Please help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2017): Let me tell you this, I am the wife of a cheating husband and also have three boys all under the age of 25 and the youngest being 17. My husband is also a great father always there we both work but he went way and beyond he hardly slept and we both worked hard for the kids. We forgot about each other. He was Superdad. Then after my children found out about the affair, yes, they were the ones that told me about it. Superdad was no longer Superdad. Superdad said he wanted to leave me because I was no longer interested in him. He just wanted to think about it first before leaving me. He said he always thought about the kids and did not want them to have a broken home like all their friends did. Where you thinking about them when you saw your mistress? No don't think so. I was an awful wife, but you know what, I was Supermom too, cleaned cooked and help pay the bills managed a normal (normal to us)household. When he was home, you think he cooked and cleaned for me. No, and wonder why I was not interested in him. Life happens get over it. If my husband would of told me look I need love and attention too, I would have definitely changed my ways (for the children) since they always come first. Then it would have been my choice to set him free or change. So do your wife a favor, put your big boys pants on and talk to her and tell her honestly what you want and then let her decide what she wants too and take it from there.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 If you are so unhappy with your wife, and if she is lazy and you do everything while working and providing then leave. Simple as. If she really is taken so much advantage off you go and start your new life. All you done wrong here was have an affair. But don't be tempted again. If you love the other woman then go and be with her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2017): Thank you for your follow up.I'll be honest though - I don't know how to give complete advice when you state that the thing that would make you happy (leaving) defies your religion. Haven't you answered your own question through this?But yet... you've already had an affair. I have no idea if that's better or worse than divorce from religious purposes. But I do know that if my own child presented this dilemma to me I would tell him or her that being happy is the most important thing and that if she had given everything in a relationship and received nothing but disrespect and neglect in return for many years then her partner does not deserve for him/ her to stay- and finance this person's life.I think discussing your issues with your wife opnly and frankly might be worthwhile, to discuss IF she will ever try to give anything in return. And perhaps couples councilling might persuade her that you are serious.Daft as it might sound. Have you tried penning a pros and cons list weighing up each option? The cons of leaving being your children receiving less inheritance/ trust fund, losing respect from family who think that you should stay irrespect of whether or not you are happy and loved, and it- presumably? -defying your own religion. The pros of leaving being happiness, self-respect, becoming a rolemodel for your children in respect of their also growing up with enough self-respect to know not to stay for years and years in an unhappy relationship if they ever fall into similar circumstances as you have in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2017): How does the saying go - Once a Catholic always a Catholic? I can understand your dilemma perfectly, have stayed with my husband despite greatest disappointments in my life. I'm still wondering if it would have been more honest to have left. Are you aware of the fact that you will not be able to marry your new partner in the Catholic church, if you decide to divorce your wife? Can you live with your conscience knowing that you are acting against the will of God? And yet you and your wife seem unhappy together and no promise to try improving the relationship has been made. If I were you, I would definitely seek advice from a (great, i.e. knowledgeable & understanding) priest. (At least) 50 % of the effort should come from your wife too. All the best...
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (27 September 2017):
 I hear the frustration in your words and it seems as though you're feeling a great sense of alienation and dissatisfaction. An affair did not solve these problems but seemed to have given you a lot of what you needed at the time.
Hon, I know I don't know you and all but I feel as though you're like a rope in a tug-of-war. One situation is pulling you towards staying in your marriage and not harming your children while the other is pulling you a chance at being happy. You can't rip yourself in two. I would try marriage counseling and/or individual counseling. It seems to me that there are unresolved thoughts and fears that need to be addressed to a neutral party. Have you suggested counseling to your wife?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2017): First of all thank you for your post, for opening up. From how you've described yourself you would appear to be an honest, hard working, caring, loving, intelligent man. Is that how you (mostly) see yourself? Is that how your wife sees you? What do you think your wife thinks of you? Do you think that your wife wants to get back with you? If so, on what conditions? There seems to be some sort of a breakdown in communication between the two of you, almost a resentment. She doesn't seem to (want to) respond to nice things you've done for her or the family. I wonder when that started. You might wish to reflect on how coming from a broken home has determined you. Would you wish same for your children? If you could change your past, what do you wish your parents would have done differently? You need to decide to either do the right thing or to be happy - or maybe even both? Find the way... Best of luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2017): I'm confused here
How can she be at her dads with the kids - when she never out of bed
How can she have the kids. - you do everything for the kids. .. how can they be with her at her daddy's house
How can she correct you on your housework, as it's not to her standard - when you nextly say, she doesn't do any house work .
Something doesn't add up here as to be honest, you would have said about her failings - in the beginning as being honest you didn't portray in a good light anyway
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2017): I met my wife when we were 18 and she is the only woman I have been with other than my mistress. Initially all was rosy for the first 5 years or so. She always had a habit of redoing cleaning work etc which caused friction but other than that all was fine. About 12 or so years ago she made it clear she had no desire for me. I arranged dates as she would not and unlike one of the responders to my problem assumed when things got tough at work I put more effort in to my marriage. I would make breakfast in bed when I was home and every weekend. Arranged dates bought presents and flowers etc. Despite that nothing really changed. At the weekend I would get up about 8am clean the house etc so we had more time together she would get up between 10 and 12 noon and go shopping. When I arranged dates she wouldn't leave the house until the time the table was booked and that was a source of friction. We talked over what I have done and although it is not her fault I strayed she agreed to try to change some of the things that have annoyed me. I am willing to give it a try but I firmly believe she will slip back to her old ways as we have been there before. I have asked my mistress to start dating as I can't guarantee being there and that is breaking my heart. I have the additional complication that I have no doubt as one of the posters sas I will be taken to the cleaners frankly she is welcome to the money, I will start again however I do not think my kids will see any benefit from the money and I would make a bed in hell to make sure they were well cared for.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2017): I was brought up as a Catholic and have very close bonds with my family who would be horrified if I separated from my wife. They inly ever see the nice side of her as I have never criticised her to anyone. To be honest this forum is the first time I have ever been critical. I met her when we were both 18 and other than my mistress she is the only woman I have ever been with. This life was the only life I knew and giving my upbringing which i wont go in to. I felt that I had do everything in my power to make everyone happy and smooth things along. I think if im honest she started to resent me about 15 years ago. I was making good money I would come home excited and say something like ohh I made $30,000 on a deal today and she would dismiss it yhen tell.me hpw she saved $5 at Walmart. And I get why she did that. I have spoken to her about the way she treats/treated me and she promises to change and I feel that I owe her the chance to change. I am also worried that I leave and get taken to the cleaners as no doubt I will that the money will not make its way to my kids as she is as I have said totally adamant that she got nothing and neither will they. I would walk through hell for my kids and i will put up with hell to make sure they are properly looked after. I just want to say that unlike one of the agony aunts said i neglected my wife while i was working hard that nothing could be further from the truth. I arranged dates for us. I bought her clothes and flowers i brought her breakfast in bed every day i was at home and got out of my bed early every weekend to cook and clean so we could get up and do things together. It is worth saying that when i arranged dates etc she would deliberately not leave the house until the time we were due to sit down to dinner or be at the table even though she knows that lateness really winds me up so i would end up stressed at work all week and stressed all weekend as well. I suffer badly from hogh blood pressure. My desperation at the moment is that my mistress will not wait for me as she has waited long enough and rightly so. I have asked her to start dating and to be honest that is breaking my heart. She genuinely wants to look after me and have us move forward as partners not with one person doing all of the work. I feel absolutely terrible criticising my wife here and i promise you i am not deliberately painting her in a bad light. I feel very down for doing or saying this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2017): You have clearly given many more years of good effort to your wife more than she has (ever?) given to you.
Your follow up makes your wife sound awful (both for you AND as a mother to the kids) and your mistress sound like a much needed escape.
So tell me; WHY do you still believe in your marriage, why do you still love your wife and why wouldn't you want to choose a life with your mistress instead?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2017): Hello, First of all, thank you for your post, for opening up, which requires a lot of courage, fair play to you. You seem to be in touch with your feelings, aware and perhaps cautious of your personal history - and of potential issues that may arise from there. I honestly beleive that your past does mark - however not determine - your future. Important to analyse your feelings. Just wonder if you have shared all that with your wife and what her side of the story might be. What was her childhood like? Is there an occurrence of any illness in her primary family? Her lack of interest in (family) life seems unusual (not that I am judging). Would that be part of a health condition or maybe the dynamics between the two of you, i.e. attention seeking? Cry for help? How does she feel about the whole situation? Would she even want you back? What would make her happy? Would same things make you happy? Just food for thought... I am afraid I am a rubbish advice giver, however: in my opinion marriage is sacred as I believe it is a sacrament - and kids are a treasure, especially vulnerable when in teenage years (16 & 13), it is so worth fighting for creating a happy marriage, for all of yous... God bless...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2017): Hi all thanls for ypur advuce./abuse. I did simply want help but obviously abuse is easier to dish out. I deliberately tried not to criticise my wife but it seems to have resulted in bastard adulterer and poor homemaker. Perhaps I should have said that for the last 10 or so years my wonderful homemaker has refused to get out of bed to take the kids to school or to make them my. I have set aside endowments to them which she is adamant that they won't get as she got nothing from her family and our kids will get nothing from us. On my half added cleaning you perhaps should no that she will not clean. Not that I will do it half assed. I employed a cleaner to help and she used the cleaner to clean windows and still left the house in a state. She does not want to entertain either of our families or in fact anyone else as she will have to clean up after them and they will drink allot the alcohol provided. I have tried to fund activities for both of us to do as a couple and she has no interest in any of them. I have asked her what she would like to do and she has no suggestions. I ask her if she will arrange activities for the kids and take them clothes shopping. She refuses to do that saying the clothes are fine and she can't be bothered running after kids all weeked. I therefore arrange activities and buy the clothes.She generally doesn't show affection to the kids either. As for the mistress and the meal ticket she earns over $180,000 per annum and has no interest in my money. I accept that I have done wrong and shouldn't be having an affair but to be honest I tried everything else before embarking on it. Hope this helps add some colour to my situation as i still believe in marriage and mine in particular. This is not some woe is me give me sympathy note I just wanted some proper advice
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 September 2017):
 In ref. to what anon female of Sept. 26rg says, I agree with the gist of the post and her final advice, but I doubt that the mistress sees the OP as a meal ticket.
Maybe a lean, low-calories meal :)
He is the adulterer; his wife is a homemaker and he's still got two kids at home. Once the OP will have duly been taken to the cleaners , there won't be much left for a nutritious meal. Alimony, child support, he will have to move out and rent or buy a new place...oh , wait , OP . I guess maybe that's another thing that crossed your mind and makes you so hesitant in realizing your love dream ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2017): Of course your mistress is being more vocal now that she is divorced. I don't know the backstory but I would offer another perspective than the other aunts here: she is 47, divorced and with a kid...she could be looking at you as a meal ticket,support system and safety net. Rather than start over again, you are there. So yes, she could other motives to press the issue.
So when your wife started expressing sexual desire in you again, you resented it?? Because from your point of view,she was only doing it to stave off the competition from the married other woman? How do you know this for sure? Sounds like you rebuffed your wife's advances and are justifying your affair, even though you used words like ashamed.
Honestly, I have little tolerance for people like you. Carrying on the affair while being married, wanting the best of both worlds and being so "torn" about it.Life is about making tough decisions and the moment you started the affair, at that point all your good intentions, guilt shame etc. are useless. You broke contact and restablished it? You have pretty much checked out of your marriage. You cannot love your wife and continue to hurt her...I'm interested to know,does your wife still love you and did she forgive you for the transgression? You have cut yourself a LOT OF SLACK and being very kind to yourself.
You cannot have both women (which is what you want). So decide either way but don't waffle.Stick to your decision.No one said life,marriage or anything worth having is easy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2017): I think what's being said is " hey dude " how much is your mistress with her kid gonna be excited when your wife lawyer finishes with you .If you think your wife will belly roll over ; that's she zipped up the back of head and doesn't realise your playing at something .. that she won't find out .. hmmm . Then your highly mistaken Your the adulterous party here .. so your wife will get a good percent of income to maintain herself from your grand business , she the homekeeper so the kids will stay and as long as their in education, you will be maybe up until the age of 21 .. Oo start doing the math .. then their your pension .. wifey gets half .. infact wifey gets nearely everything .. So, you leave and manage to scrape by .. you moan about the extra hours you have to spend to make what lil extra .. your mistress thinks wait where's my fancy dinners ( can't afford those anylonger and lil pressies Oo they long time gone baby ) And your tired and guess what ms mistress is snissed.. she no longer giving you the loving .. she didn't get into this to scrape by .. she needs wants a life ..Seen it happen to my bro friend .. and I'm sorry but I had to laugh .. after his mistress dumped his sorry ass - he ran back to wifey only to find out . Nope .. she wasn't having any of it and he still has to work and he lives in a tiny apartment .. drives an old car .. he sits with what lil money he has and whines about his wife in his house .. driving his BMW .. going to lunches and spa treatments looking 15 years younger . And she an itch.No she not an itch .. he got what I'm afraid my sir is coming your way So live it up .. and go on be with your mistress . I mean she the one that will stand by you .. eh .. Come back and let's us know when you have hardy nothing where she be ..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2017): People never cease to amaze me. The rationalizing and creative arguments to justify cheating is unbelievable.
Marriage is a long-term commitment. As years go by, you struggle with finances; because that is cyclical. Whether you own a business, or work for someone else; you're affected by the the economy. A growing family requires more time and money; and a business or career requires constant attention. That's how most families start-out. You learn to balance and jungle them all at the same-time. Welcome to adulthood. It's been done for generations!
Now about sex. Your sex-drive and sex-life will peak, it will plateau, and it will fizzle. Your wife's affection and attraction for you will also flow like the tides. It runs hi and low. If you're a dick, she will hate you. If you're sweet, she will reward you.
That depends on many factors. Her body changes after child-birth, estrogen-levels can drop due to premenopause, fibroids are painful during intercourse, stress-levels can sky-rocket, undetected health-problems arise; and her overall psychological-health may be deteriorating. Just telling her to go out and enjoy herself may not be as easy as doing it. She has a child, a husband, and a home to attend to. Her world revolves around that.
She can't just drop everything and go hunting for friends; and finding her way back into the workforce is yet another stressful challenge. Her skills are rusty and outdated.
If you were stressing over your bills and your business; you took it out on her, and passed-on your stress by venting your own frustrations and pressures at home.
You were probably a prick at times; and showed her no affection or consideration. After-all, she's home doing nothing all-day. Her irritating whining about her "emotional-needs" were thrown to the sidelines; because you were under so much pressure to be the sole-breadwinner. So she withdrew, and turned her attention to childcare and housekeeping. She went home to her dad who consoled her and probably tried to explain to her what you were going through. As it goes, women blame themselves.
A child's love is unconditional and nonstop. She retreated to her dad; because you were more than she could handle. You ignored the signs of bad-husbanding. So you did a few sloppy chores. Big deal! It's your house too! If she had to correct it, it wasn't up to standard. She may have also suffered postpartum depression. It's not always evident. It requires an extensive medical-evaluation for a diagnosis.
Now you say you're in-love; and you've made your supporting-argument. Time for the inevitable trade-in. Like so many other men who checkout of their marriages when sex isn't abundant. Hoorah! You found yourself a mistress, and her replacement. Which probably would have happened whether sex with your wife was in high-supply or not. That's up for debate. The odds and statistics rarely lie about it.
People bailout on their marriages too easily, and for the wrong reasons. All things change over time. The quality of life ebbs and flows; and all relationships undergo challenges and difficult obstacles.
The purpose of love and commitment is to meet those challenges as partners; and to do whatever it takes to keep your marriage and family in-tact. That's what life is about. That's what family is about.
For richer or poorer; and for better or worse. Maybe they should just leave that out. Just substitute it with: "As long as the sex is good!"
Troubles and disagreements fall into the natural-order of things. What the hell did you take vows for? When the minute you hit a snag in the road; you go hop on top of another woman?
Lovely the way you laid-out your story; but all you described is a regular marriage. The wife had a kid, her interest in sex dipped, you decided to go hunting for stray vagina; and ran across someone conveniently in your path.
Now your marriage and your family is worth tossing; because some married-woman decides to enjoy a fling on the side. Thus the soap opera drama begins. You both have your little adulteress affair, pretending you're in-love.
BUNK!!!
How eager is she to leave her husband for you; after you've destroyed your marriage, and abandoned your family? Only because she puts out regularly? Does your penis do the thinking for you? You're tearing your family apart, dude!
Well, you're a businessman. Assess your losses!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 September 2017):
 You know the saying:" The grass is greener on the other side"? It rarely holds true. The grass is greener where you water and take care of it. That holds true.
Whether we talk golf course or marriage - neither of them takes care of themselves.
I think there is a lot of resentment towards your wife that has been there for a long time, however, you NEVER took actions. You didn't want to rock the boat. You didn't want to do "lawn care".
I totally get that you don't want your kid to be from a broken home, but it IS already broken. It's in disrepair not a single green leaf in sight. Did you think having an affair would fix your marriage? did you think the "mistress" would be happy sitting on the sidelines with a man who doesn't want to be a divorcee? Why doesn't want to make the jump or take care to fix his marriage?
If you think leaving your wife and shacking up with this "mistress" is a happily ever after - I think you are wrong. Statistically.... you are VERY wrong.
1. Depending on which sources I found, it’s estimated that only 1%-10% of married men who have affairs end up leaving their spouses and marrying their affair partners (I haven’t found a stat for married women). I don’t know the validity of these stats, but they feel like they are probably right.
2. Over 75% who marry partners they were in an affair with eventually divorce. (of course, this isn’t much higher than the divorce rate for any second marriage. Still, it’s sobering).
3. 80% of those who divorce during an affair regret the decision.
(source https://affairadvice.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/do-affairs-end-up-in-successful-relationships-13/)
Those are the harsh truth. That is something else you are battling beside going through a divorce, trying to keep two households afloat and the new woman happy.
The mistress has shown you not only in words but actions that she is serious about you. She divorced her husband. And if you claim it wasn't for you... I call bullshit.
My guess is you made promises to her as well. Now you are just not sure if it's what you want.
Shit or get off the pot, Buster.
It's that simple.
Decide which woman you want to be with and then act accordingly.
DO you really think you are doing your wife ANY favors by staying? you child?
You are not.
Are you doing yourself any favors in waffling?
You are not.
Maybe, in the long run, NEITHER woman is for you. But BOTH of them certainly AREN'T.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (25 September 2017):
Generally I do not feel a lot of empathy for the mistress,but this time I can't help feeling a bit bad for her.
3 years ago, when you started your affair, she had a husband. Now , she is divorced, while being clearly and vocally in love with you, married guy.
Of course I do not know the background story. It's perfectly possible that her marriage was a disaster anyway, and that she would have ended up divorcing anyway- even if she had never met you. Obviously.
But- the timing is SO coincidental !
I am sure that you never promised her to leave your wife for her, - and that if she assumed that, since supposedly you loved her so much , and were so unhappy at home, the next most logical move for her was to get her freedom back, waiting for ( and expecting ) you to get yours back, she did that on her own, without your explicit request or encouragement. Only herself to blame, - and yet... it sounds like she has been left holding the bag. ( Maybe that's why she is so "vocal". )
Anyway : in principle, I agree with Brown Wolf , what he says is wise. Basically, when in doubt- do the right thing. And also, I do not think you are so raring to get free and leave home. Yes yes, the children ( which will be young adults in few years )- the broken home... all you want. But , in practice, as I have seen happening many times, when something is real, when is " it "- there's no consideration of home, kids, status, hurt feelings strong enough to keep someone who WANTS to go away.
My take is that you don't really want to go away; you want it in a daydream way, in a " wouldn't it be wonderful if " way. The same way one could " think " about leaving his 9 to 5 job, to go open a beach bar in Brazil. It would be so cool,.. but, at the end of the day, nah- you don't want that big change ENOUGH.
So, I guess I'd advise you to stay with your family , but - only if you are willing to BE there for real. Not only physically, but with mind and spirit. Your wife does not need a husband who is only faithful physically , and for lack of courage. And your kids do not need a father whose head space is so taken over by dreams of lost love,- that he can't really , actually, pay attention and BE there for them.
So, basically, you have to chose. Pick one. If you are really sure that you love your mistress, and that you cannot put in the time, work , effort to rebuild your marriage- then leave. Ultimately, your wife might be better off. It's no fun living with someone who's in love with another woman.
Just- stop pussyfooting. Make a choice, committ to it,stick to it, and make sure you move on totally, no ifs and buts, from what you have discarded. No looking back. This is a situation in which someone is going to suffer anyway , but until you keep things dangling EVERYBODY is going to suffer- you included.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (25 September 2017):
 "I came from a broken home with an alcoholic father"
Biggest excuses ever!!!! No matter what your parents did with their life, has nothing to do with how you live yours.
People LOVE to blame something in their lives for the mistakes they are making now. It was her do this, or him doing that. A broken home or I was abused when I was a kid.
Sure, these things have an effect on our lives, but is it not for us to use it to be weak...rather...to better ourselves and raise above it all.
Like your marriage now...a situation came in to test your so called love for your wife.
"I have always told her she was beautiful and that I loved her and found her attractive"
So the economic crisis happened and then what??? The crisis affected the way your wife looks? It affected your love?
It seems that when that crisis happened...you did the one thing that most men would do. YOU...worked hard to make money and maintain your life style...but in the process, YOU forgot to maintain your relationship with your wife.
Your mind focus on money and business, and your wife took the back seat. Things got a bit better...you looked up, and all of a sudden your wife is no longer paying attention to the man who is not paying attention to her.
So rather than fixing the problem YOU created, YOU took the easy way out...Yes...A beautiful woman who has not gone through all the things your wife has gone through with you. The woman tells you all the sweet things you want to hear, and you foolishly swallow it up....mmmm... how good it taste.
Honey taste really good...but too much of it will make you sick.
You don't even see the setup that life gave you...Look back at your post again.
1) You became the bread winner...something that puts pride in any man.
2) You have your own business...more pride.
3) You have a beautiful wife...bragging rights to a man...Pride.
4) Have sex with said beautiful woman....Pride.
LIFE HATES PRIDE!!!! But love humility. So life steps in to humble you.
1) It throw a monkey wrench in your business, and your pride.
2) It disrupts your family, wife, sex, and your pride.
3) Takes your pride away even in your basic house work and cooking.
4) Then throws a new woman to give you false pride to see if you take the bate.
5) You took the bate, swallowed it, and now the hook is caught in your throat...That hook is the belief that you will be happy with someone else's wife, when you cannot make your own wife happy.
Take the hook out of your mouth...give it back the other woman...and go and beg your wife for her forgiveness.
Humble yourself in life, and pay attention to what YOU have, not what others have.
If you leave your wife for the other woman, and she goes back to her husband, or better yet, leaves you for another man...what then?
Take no pride in doing foolish things. Take no pride at all...but if you are going to pride yourself...take pride in doing what is right, not what is wrong.
Better to live humble, before life humbles you.
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A
male
reader, M1k3 123 +, writes (25 September 2017):
M1k3 123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question47 divorced with 1 child. Not divorced when we first met
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2017): How old is the other woman
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