A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:a year ago i was with this guy,that i really loved but he started changing day after day..and finaly we broke up.it was the hardest thing i could ever do and it still hurts(wrote about it over here and everyone said that i will get over him but that never happened).it took me a lot just to forget about him.dated many guys.got drunk just to fogret him for a second but that never helped.at last i met this great guy,who treats me like a queen and we've been together for 6 months,my ex still lives inside my heart!and it kills me to know that he's happy with another girl.just wanted to see him again just once..3 weeks ago my ex talked to me again and told me that he loves me.but we could never be together.but a week after that i said that he got a girlfriend (he was going to marry her 4 months ago but they had problems,they got back together).. i told my boyfriend everything because i am a terrible liar.he got so upset but finaly told me to do what i think is for the best.so i talked to the other guy and told him that i wanted to see him because he is moving away to canada very soon can't live if i couldn't see him only for one last time.he said he will tell me if he could..2 days passed..when i talked to him again,online.. he was so upset and told me that he broke up with his girl because she found out that he was going to see me.i've never seen him so mad!i told my boyfriend what happened and he told me that the other guy is playing wih me and i should stop contacting him..i know he is playing with me but i don't know how to get over him..i can't get him out of my life, tried to 1000 of times but never could!they say time heals but how much time do i need?how much tears?every night i dream about him every single night!i'm going crazy. please help me!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, abbeymom  +, writes (23 September 2008):
 Time does heal honey, but the memory last forever. At least until you are old and will to forget everything LOL.
I am married to a wonderful man, five years with two beautiful children, only one of which is from him. I was with my ex 12 years. It was a bad relationship. Hurtful and abusive. But I will tell you something. I will always love him. Just the way I loved him changed.
Love isn't something we can just turn on and off. We can love many people in our lives and still give all of ourselves to those we are with.
You have to not forget him, but forgive him and forgive yourself for the relationship ending and only then will you find happiness in time. You will never forget him, but allowing yourself to dwell ... even obsess over him is forcing your mind to stay on a track that is one sided and it will eventually take you nowhere.
Moving on isn't easy. Love your BF you are with. Look for all the wonderful qualities in him you adore and stop putting your ex on a pedelste. Look at all the things you didn't like about him. How he hurt you and how unhappy he made you hurting you.
I know it seems unfair but the people you talked to were right to a point. You will get over him in time. Only if you want to though. That part unfortunately is up to you.
P.S. You aren't crazy. You are human. It's human nature sometimes want something we can't have. Even when that something is bad, harmful for us and eventually will hurt us in the end...
~ Abbeymom
A
female
reader, abbeymom +, writes (23 September 2008):
Time does heal honey, but the memory last forever. At least until you are old and will to forget everything LOL.
I am married to a wonderful man, five years with two beautiful children, only one of which is from him. I was with my ex 12 years. It was a bad relationship. Hurtful and abusive. But I will tell you something. I will always love him. Just the way I loved him changed.
Love isn't something we can just turn on and off. We can love many people in our lives and still give all of ourselves to those we are with.
You have to not forget him, but forgive him and forgive yourself for the relationship ending and only then will you find happiness in time. You will never forget him, but allowing yourself to dwell ... even obsess over him is forcing your mind to stay on a track that is one sided and it will eventually take you nowhere.
Moving on isn't easy. Love your BF you are with. Look for all the wonderful qualities in him you adore and stop putting your ex on a pedelste. Look at all the things you didn't like about him. How he hurt you and how unhappy he made you hurting you.
I know it seems unfair but the people you talked to were right to a point. You will get over him in time. Only if you want to though. That part unfortunately is up to you.
P.S. You aren't crazy. You are human. It's human nature sometimes want something we can't have. Even when that something is bad, harmful for us and eventually will hurt us in the end...
~ Abbeymom
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): Your ex treated you badly, you now got a b/f who you say treats you very well and is still sticking by you. I know which one I chose.
If your not in love with your current b/f, dump him. But don't be weak and go crawling back to your ex who now has a g/f, your properly end up his bit on the side.
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