A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we have grown really close to one another he's been through alot of struggles and I've helped him I've let him stay with me in my house for months whilst he was sorting himself out. Over a year ago I went on holiday for 2 weeks and we were having a few arguments before I left. In the time I was away it was new years eve and he cheated on me. As soon as i got back he told me about it and he cried saying he made a mistake and he wasn't ready to tell me details or who it was especially as it'll hurt me. we got over that but only recently this girl he cheated with has been causing him trouble so he talked to me about it. turns out she was one of his friends and they have been spending time together and I know about it but i feel so hurt I wish they didn't talk after that new yrs. he told me that after he spoke to me the 1st time a year ago she slit her wrist and he got scared. He hasn't told me he loves me because he's been living a lie and now its all out he feels he can show me more about who he is. My problem is the rules are for me to leave him but I love him so much i know hes not like most guys and feel like I'll be losing a lot if I leave him. We already got so close the sex is amazing I still can't stay away from him its been Ive been hurting and crying alot I'm so confused... I'm hoping we can start on a clean plate but it hurts and i don't want to forget about it then allow it to cause further problems in the future. I need advise what can I do ??
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female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 You've done alot for this man an he might just be taking advantage of you. I understand that we all make mistakes and I do beleive in a second chance, and it's very big of you to give him that chance. Most women wouldn't and most would loose out on a great guy so I admire you.
The truth is you'll never forget what he did and it will hurt you for a long time. If your relationship is strong then you'll get through it. The problem is if this girl is still in his life, she sounds like she has issues. He probably feels sorry for her and it didn't help that you guys were fighting when you went on holiday because he might have felt vulnerable too. Maybe that's why he cheated.
You need to get her out of your lives. If he feels responsible for her maybe both of you should get her some help (both of you need to do it together so she can see you guys are a couple and you not letting her to take him away from you).
I beleive you'll work things out, you say you've grown close and the sex is great, you've got a good foundation for a good long term relationship. You both need to be truthful and surpportive of each other. And he needs to let this women go...
I hope everything works out for the TWO of you
A
female
reader, Cordelia +, writes (1 February 2007):
 I cant tell you what to do sweetie only you know that in your heart. He has chosen to be with you not her. And rememeber hes just a man everyone makes mistakes althought hat doesnt excuse what he did and the pain wont heal right away but it will calm down a bit trust me, from personal experiences, if you can put it aside and onli cry when hes not there about it and not let it get in the way then maybe you can do it. Maybe you dont want to do it but have to. Maybe you wont ever forgive him but love him enough to work through it. There aint one thing that true love wont overcome.
Good luck Babe
Cordi
xxx
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