A
female
age
30-35,
*organ5885
writes: i need help. This guy has a girlfriend. he talks to me more than he talks to his girlfriend. and we have great conversations(usually on the phone or through text), lots of fun together (only by ourselves though). Nobody has any idea that we even talk. Its never been said but we keep our "relationship" (not sure you'd actually call it that) a secret. point is, it's very obvious we both like each other. in the halls when he's talking to people even his girlfriend, he'll like stare at me. nobody notices for some reason but he flirts with me all the time yet he wont dump his girlfriend. it's really complicated and there's more to it, but i really really like him, and i do have an idea of what could be going on.i think maybe it's because im a little prude and slow moving in relationships and his girlfriend is the exact opposite. She was all over him (making out) the day before they started going out and i think he's got two girlfriends going on in a way. like she's the one he has for physical stuff but im the one he talks to about deep stuff and spends time with. he gets "soft" eyes around me and really cares about me i can tell and when i tell him about a guy i might be interested in he gets really mad and jealous. What should i say to him? i dont want to do this anymore i cant stand seeing them together holding hands and hugging knowing he likes me as much as her if not more. please help
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male
reader, Polite Fellow  +, writes (4 May 2009):
I'm so sorry for your situation, it must be horrible for you.But you've got to look at the situation for what it is, and its not pretty. If this guy can't stop seeing the girl he is currently with to be with you then he isn't worth the time. I know you may not want to hear that because when you care for someone you blind yourself from the truth.I say have your cry now and save yourself a thousand tears later on.Give him an ultimatum, tell him that you like him and that you think he likes you too but tell him if that is the case he can't be with someone else at the same time. Even if you are not ready for the physical side of the relationship if he truly cares for you he can wait for that to come later. I just worry that he is trying to have his way with two people for the wrong reasons rather than settling with one for the right reasons.I wish you the best of luck, and hope it works out for you. truly.
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