A
female
age
41-50,
*ibob
writes:Hello. My problem is that i would like to put this man out of my mind but however hard i try, i constantly see him at work. In the beginning i nnoticed that he was always fixing me when i pass near his office. He wwill always be there when i come in the mrng, during lunch and when work closes. I got influenced. I think i was his first interest and then he started to notice another woman. Shes always flirting with him, shes mmarried but shes a man predator. But hes still looking at me. I know iits stupid and his interest in me is nt sincere.
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female
reader, Marilissa75  +, writes (16 March 2014):
 There is a bit of a player vibe that seems to go with the situation you describe. Getting involved with him would be hazardous to your employment, I would imagine. I used to have a work crush (still do) but I started dating someone new with whom I do not work and it helps a lot. Now my crush is just a fun little thing that will never be acted upon and I do not think about it much. Oh and my work crush is a mature man, older, strikingly handsome, very professional, and I think he would never, ever dream of dating me since we work together and he has very good boundaries. I have felt he was somewhat attracted to me but know in my gut he would not act on it and so I do not hang my hopes on it or obsess. Plus the guy I am dating is amazing. So...get your flirt on OUTSIDE of work with someone you do not work with and that will get your mind off of this office player.
A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (15 March 2014):
 You're unsure if he's sincere in his interest of you and this concerns me too. Could he be the type of man that chases women in a workplace environment purely to entertain himself? Will he do this with every other woman who comes into the office? Or does he really like you? There are so many what-ifs here. It might be an idea to be polite and businesslike with him for a while. Watch him and see how he acts when you don't return his interest. If he turns his sights on another woman in the office then you have your answer, if he doesn't and he keeps pursuing you then you know his interest is genuine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2014): It's a touchy situation flirting at work. I'm not sure about your country; but here in America, we have to be careful about claims of "sexual harassment." We have policies regarding appropriate and professional behavior. That is, while on the premises of our workplaces.
If you happen to see him after work or out in public; chat with him, and suggest having a cup of tea or coffee. Do not suggest alcoholic beverages. Keep it casual.
Before extending any invitation; politely ask if he has a female-companion waiting for him. Check his ring-finger.
See where his head's at. Don't mention anything about exchanging glances or work. Be friendly, so you can determine if the guy is nothing more than a notorious flirt. Which I suspect he is. He likes attention.
Keep your tiny obsession to yourself. It really isn't appropriate, and a distraction when at work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2014): Sounds like he loves the female attention...women lusting after him, you looking at him, the other woman flirting at hiim etc. If I was you I would play it cool, don't look at him with longing glances, pretend he doesn't exist, because if he was really into you he would cut out the mind games and ask you out.
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