A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello, i am 18 years old and a freshman in college. my girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months. i truly think this girl is "the one" for me and i am very much in love with her. i know it's early on in the relationship, but i can't help how i feel. a couple of weeks into the relationship, i was extremely drunk and made out with another girl. that's it, just kissed. i don't know why it happened, it meant nothing at all, and i felt (and still do feel) terribly guilty about it. it was a stupid mistake and it hasn't happened since and because of my guilt and the pain i would bring both of us, i will not let it happen again. i know if i tell her, she won't ever trust me again and i don't think she would give me a second chance and i know she would constantly worry about it and it would always be on her mind. she already has a tough time trusting guys and has a terrible fear of being hurt. i won't let it happen again, because i love her way too much. should i just learn from my mistake, not tell her, don't let it happen again, and move on or take the chances of telling her (and being honest with her) to get it off my back?...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 You say it was only a couple of weeks into the relationship, so although i do not agree with cheating at all we all make mistakes we are after all only human.
If you are 100% sure that she will never find out then do not say anything as you have already said she has a problem trusting men anyway and get over it yourself ok it was the wrong thing to do but hopefully you have learnt from it and will not do it again.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,
I always believe that honesty is the best policy. Put yourself in her shoes - would you like to know or would you like to be kept in the dark about something that was obviously a huge issue to you? I know I would.
And not to sound like a jerk, but you said that you don't want to tell her because she might not give you a second chance. Doesn't that sound a bit selfish on your part?
If I were you, I would tell your girlfriend what happened. It's only fair that you give her the option to forive you or to choose someone who wouldn't cheat. (I know that you said you were drunk, but you are still responsible for your actions. You should have known your drink limit - but at least you know what it is now and what you're capable of doing, so there is some kind of a silver lining to this.)
Take care.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (25 June 2007):
 You should tell her. It's your choice: Hurt her a lot now, or a lot worse later.
DV1
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): if i were you i would not tell her because it will hurt her. just learn from your mistake and do not let it happen again and watch your actions and think before you proceed!!
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