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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have got myself into a dilemma that is eating me up inside. I have been married for nearly 2 years and we are very happy together. we have been through a lot lately with house moves and both had problems at work, so we have been stressed but have stuck together through everything. things are sorting themselves out now other than my job. a girl at work is very flirtasious and is clearly interested in me. we work closely together and have a laugh, harmless fun. until the other day when we took our work to the pub, after a few drinks we returned to the office and kissed. nothing more but i feel i have destroyed everything, i adore my wife and am so proud to have been faithful to her. should i tell her or take all this turmoil as my punishment? it has certaily taught me i would never do this again and i love my wife more than life itself. please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all and Thank you for all your feedback, much appreciated. Taking all that on board and having time to reflect i have decided that this is one thing i do not need to tell my wife. The girl at work and I work closely together, infact we run the whole of the UK operation. I have spoken with her and told her it was a big mistake, nothing will ever happen again. she said i am being silly as nothing happened. So we still have a friendship and a line that will not be crossed. I still cannot get over this though and the guilt is eating me up. any advise on how i get through this? thank you.
A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 I guess people make mistakes (still not a reason to accept that its a mistake). But since you seem committed to your wife and stuff, I think this is one secret you should take to the grave with you. Your wife will just be totally devastated and there's no reason to put her through that. Just be careful and make sure you keep work and alcohol totally separate! Just a thought you might want to consider though, did your colleague see it as a mistake or a build up to something more?
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A
male
reader, Big boy +, writes (12 January 2007):
 I tell you one thing, the moment you open your mouth to confess say goodbye to your wife, by this i mean that her personality, because she would become a totally different person learn from it, it's not nice, if your married your married treat and respect your woman the same way she respect's you. Just take it as a mistake that should never had happened correct it by making it clear to the woman from work that your happily married and you respect and love your wife. And try and avoid such moments that would involve you in such situations. (don't break the trust you have)
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female
reader, TDMB +, writes (12 January 2007):
 Hiya,
It's a mistake many of us have made! Definitly think you shouldn't say anything, but donl't let it affect how you behave with your wife or she might start to suspect something.
One other thing, is there any possibility at all that she could find out from someone else? The woman in question - or if she tells someone else? Sounds like she made most of the running. If you think your wife might find out then you need to get in there first - but only if you genuinely think it could get back to her. If there's not chance of that happening, then just get on with life, appreciate the fact that you now value your wife even more and, as Shandypop says, don't do it again!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): I agree with Dagwood! Don't hurt your wife by telling her. Just make sure that this girl knows that this was a one off and will never happen again. Don't let it spoil all that you have. It will be your punishment, but only yours! Keep it in your head forever and learn something by it. Never do it again.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 Hi Anon,
There are some mistakes that we need to take to the grave and this little one seems to be one of those. You sound very guilty & remorseful about the incident and I guess this is your punishment. No need to create waves in your stable relationship by a STUPID CONFESSION! You also seem to be certain about your love for your wife so let this be a lesson to you! Tell the woman at work that you're in love with your wife and you're not interested. AND don't do it again! Cheers Dagwood.
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