A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in my current relationship for almost 6 years. Like every relationship, we have are up's and downs. Today i thought it was all going to end because i told my boyfriend that i no longer loved him and felt as though he was the right one for me.For alot of the time in this relationship, i have had these same simlar feelings. What normaly stops us from spliting up is when my boyfriend gets upset over me trying to leave him so i have stayed alot in the past for that very resson. Another resson is that he convinses me that i am wrong for wanting to leave him and that im being abit deludided. This is so convusing to me because if i truly loved him, then i don't know why half of the time i have wanted to leave him, but if it feels that bad to be with him then why am i staying with him? If i leave him then i will have no family home to go to and have to start all over on my own. I am so scared to live on my own and cope on my own. Right now i feel like i don't know my own mind and that i am completley draind off my energy. I feel like he is playing with my mind. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANKYOU, for your advice... it make resonable sence... i'll keep it in mind if i get in to any nasty emotianal situations again and need to get out....I'm not responcible for anyone ellses happyness other than my own... i really aprecitated your advice, it gave me some home truths about the situation.
A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (4 April 2009):
you cannot stay with a person you no longer love, whatever the circumstances. and as much as he begs you to stay in the future i bt hed thank you, love needs to work both ways he cant give all his to you or its not a healthy relationship, you need the balance of both. Rigt now you need to be really strong for ourself and make a stand, make a descision and stick to it. you are unhappy, so leave, go out there take that risk and find what you are looking for. you cannot live your life miserable to please another, if he loved you hed let you go and be happy, in time hell find the right one for him, in time.
You will cope on your own, everyone has that strength within them that is forced out when its most needed i gurantee that when you find faith within yourself itll show on the outside and your life will fall into a routine that you have chosen and one you are happy with.
Do not let yourself be controlled, stay that one step ahead always. Dont let this man patronise you, i feel his comments are moments of desperation, he probablyknow as soon as you leave you life begins he wants to hold onto you you need to be gentle but firm. start thinking for yourself you have your own mind and i have every faith in you to get through this and come out the other end shining. Find yourself find your happiness and enjoy your life, its yours nobody elses so start living it. Take the risk and be all the more happier for doing so in the future you have a future so grab it with both hands and do not let one person take it away from you.
Best of luck- i genuinly mean that
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A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (4 April 2009):
Babe you'll cope on your own. If you loved this guy these feelings would not keep coming up. Do you want to be having these feelings forever and stay just because you are frigthened of being on your own?
He will be free to find a new love, at this moment he wants you to stay and cannot imagine life without you. Eventually he'll move on and find the person who is right for him. This will happen for you too and you'l look back at this time and wished you'd moved earlier.
Try to remain friends with him and tell him how you believe he deserves to be loved wholehearted and that you just do not feel that way about him. For both your sakes it's time to leave and find yourself.
Good luck
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