A
male
age
36-40,
*hiteswan
writes:Sigh...I'm 22, not a daft wee boy. Sure as hell feel like one. I have a female friend, and sadly I've developed feelings for her, I now have a crush on her :(I thought that perhaps it was just the fact that it a progression due to the emotional connection we have. I am never going to ask her out, she has a b/f, and Im a total loser. Thing is, I cant stop thinking about her, in a sexual way. However when I begin to, I start to feel really guilty and so I get stressed. I try NOT to think about her...and guess what? she pops up. I keep thinking to myself: SHES MY FRIEND! I dont want to think about her in black lingerie, telling me how much she wants me....but I cant help it. I am feeling so rotten, that I am now avoiding her. Ive been very awkward around her, very distant and formal (although given how stiff I am with most folk, this isnt a major concern) and she has expressed concern. Her worry is that she has offended me, and she wants to know whats wrong. I am simply terrified she will know how am I feeling and dont want to lose the friendship.I cant tell her, else I lose her as a friend. I cant avoid her, else I lose her as a friend. Why do I need to be male? :(God, this is such a damn cliche.....Please help me guys.I am very fond of her, and I hate how much i am disrespecting her.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): The brain is a funny thing, and so are the thoughts and dreams that occupy it all the time.... If I tell you "DON'T THINK OF PINK ELEPHANTS", what just came into your mind. Did you think of something else, did you think about your best friend in lingerie or did you think about pink elephants in lingerie.
Anything you resist, persists... your trying to hard to forget, and this only makes things worse. Your dreams and desires are your secrets, only you and us know. Your a healthy, sexual young man, and your friend is probably very pretty and a nice person, so of course you start to think sexual thoughts. I can't see the problem with that. Your a man, you have sexual thoughts about her and all types of things since you grew up. Accept your feelings, accept your desires. This is how you feel at the moment. But feelings and actions are two different things. There is no problem about thinking sexual thoughts, but she's your friend. To tell her, to act on your feelings would change the nature of your relationship and make her feel sad.
Laugh at your thoughts, laugh at your penis, laugh and say, "hell, thoughts and feelings your out of control. Penis stay down, this is not the right girl she's a friend" There is no problem having sexual thoughts, who knows she may have them too. But thoughts and feelings are not as important as the relationship you and her have developed. Accept that your a man and you get arroused by pretty young things, even if they are for your friend.
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 If you want to stop disrespecting her then you can tell her the truth so she can understand where you're coming from-- I mean leave off the lingerie part, but you have to tell her what's going on, if you want any part of your friendship to remain intact
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (30 July 2008):
If you want to stop disrespecting her then you can tell her the truth so she can understand where you're coming from-- I mean leave off the lingerie part, but you have to tell her what's going on, if you want any part of your friendship to remain intact
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (30 July 2008):
If you want to stop disrespecting her then you can tell her the truth so she can understand where you're coming from-- I mean leave off the lingerie part, but you have to tell her what's going on, if you want any part of your friendship to remain intact
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): You just need to tell her the truth...but tell her you don't want to loose her has a friend..and that you are content with just being her friend. You don't want to have any regrets in life..and if you don't tell her, you WILL regret it in years to come. And you are NOT a looser..She did choose you as a friend didn't she? Please know that I will be praying for you Sweet Pea!! Things will work out...Just follow your heart, and you can't go wrong!
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