A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, im 17 years old and I'd really appreciate some advice.I was with my boyfriend for a year and seven months, but at the start of the summer we hit a rough patch, where i fell for someone else and felt myself drifting away from him (I had never experienced feelings as strong as these during my relationship before, so i guess i handled it wrong.) In the end he finished with me, as he said i was never seeing him (which was true) We moved on, but sooner or later i felt my feelings for my boyfriend start creeping back slowly, and we eventually got back together after about 3 weeks of being apart, we went on holiday together and it was the most amazing time ever. Everything was perfect, untill we got back, and he started bringing up that i had kissed another boy whilst we had been apart, and getting aggresive, abusive and nasty over it. In the end he wouldnt let me go out without him, i wasnt allowed to go to our local with my friends, i wasnt allowed to go on camping trips, unless he was there. Though we carried on, untill one of my friends had a party, and i went up to him to give him a kiss, and he pushed me away saying that there was a time and a place to show my affection and it wasnt now, and how i should no that he doesnt like kissing, hugging me etc in public. It really upset me, as every other person was sat cuddling up to there boyfriend watching tv, dancing etc and mine wouldnt even give me a kiss on the cheek. Then later on in the night, i had got rather drunk, and he told me that he would walk me home, and not to walk with everyone else, so i did, and he took us a short cut way through a woods, we started bickering over what had happend earlier on in the night,and he said ive got to go, and literally ran away from me, he left me in a pitch black woods, trying to find my way home without a phone, light etc, i ran after him but he was too fast. In the end a passer by, who happend to be a friend of mine heard me, and came and walked me home. The next day he had a go at me for walking home with another boy, after he had left me.Then on results day, i went out with my family to celebrete passing my exams, and he was ment to be meeting me at 2 to go over one of my friends houses for a bbq, but we got stuck in traffic, so i text him saying that i was running later, about 45 minutes later i texted him to say i was home, he came down and was absolutley fuming with me, saying that i had kept him waiting around for me all day, and i should of given him exact times. I was so angry, because there was nothing more i could of done, i told him i was running late, and i didnt no how long exactly i was going to be, but in the end he reduced me to crying and begging and i ended up missing the party.Thats just how our relationship had always been though, him in the wrong shouting at me, and me backing down and saying sorry and trying to get back in his good books.Then finally we went back to school, and i realised theres better out there, and i told him how i felt, and that things needed to change, and he just laughed and mocked me, and thought i was joking around. So i ended it. Its been 3 weeks now, and im fine when im surrounded by my friends, or when im busy, but then when im on my own i miss him. I miss the connection we had. I text him to see if we were okay, and he basically said for me to leave him alone as he was trying to move on and that he couldnt be my friend as after 2 years of loving me it was too difficult.I feel myself running back to him, but i know its not the right thing to do, as if i can fall for another person so easily, and lose feeling for him so easily then obviously i dont have as strong of feelings towards him as i thought. I think i just go running back when i feel myself becoming alone, i convince myself nobody else will wont me, and that i wont find anyone else and get scared and go back to him.Please help me, i dont know whether these are true feelings im feeling towards him or not. I keep crying over memorys of us, and then the next day i dont feel anything for him at all.Thankyou in advance xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 September 2009):
You are running around after the most appalling guy on earth! Not only does he mock you, he starts to walk you home when you're drunk and leaves you in the dark. Do you have any idea how unsafe this relationship is? He's not interested in you and he really should be avoided.
As for worrying about other guys not wanting you, I have good news. Not only will other guys want you, but they'll be better than him. Really they will! When you feel alone, do something like jogging or a hobby or anything that just keeps you busy. And never beg a man for anything. Ever. The right guy doensn;t need to be begged for. Delete his number and have nothing to do with him. You deserve better than a guy who will leave you in a very unsafe situation. Hardly a knight is he! Take your time and find the right guy. He'll be out there. x
A
female
reader, Alisha101  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Hey I'm a bit younger than you but I'll try and help. He sounds possessive and a bit nasty, like you said "theres better out there". Try and move on, its hard but you'll get there and it sounds like he already is?!
Keep surrounding yourself with friends - thats what they are there for!! It sounds like your missing the company rather than the possessive nasty B**stard he is. Try not to have any contact with him, it might make it worse.
Someone else will want you!!
I'm leaning some really hard lessons right now, it seems like you are too - good luck, hope this helps x
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