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I keep finding his ex's stuff around the house!

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 November 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been dating G for almost 3 years. We are engaged to get married in January. While cleaning his house because I'm moving in, I found many personal items of his former live-in girlfriend.

We discussed and I felt since they were her childhood things (bibles, yearbooks, etc) that she would likely want them. I'm not sure why she left them. He now has been emailing her about 10 times and is offering her our sofa set. We have two many now with combining two households. If I would have offered this to my ex-he would have a FIT. He accidentally left his email open and I saw their 10-12 email exchanges. She moved in with him, he "bought" her couch from her, he is now offering it back to her. Is this strange?

View related questions: engaged, his ex, moved in, my ex

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A female reader, largentsgirl89 United States +, writes (10 November 2010):

largentsgirl89 agony auntHe's offering her sofa set back to her, well it was hers originally and if she doesn't want it back then give it to good will. Her childhood stuff, tennisstar88 had a good point, drop it off at her house. 10 to 12 emails is kind of ridiculous, but if its all in connection with couches I wouldn't worry. And guys are guys, so him to still have her things isn't abnormal, most guys just don't clean deep enough to find them or don't have motivation to throw them out.

I wouldn't worry. :)

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A male reader, Love-Wisely United States +, writes (10 November 2010):

Love-Wisely agony auntOkay, if you read 10-12 emails between his ex, and the worst of it was about a sofa, you guys are fine. Men can be very weird about this sort of thing. I too have stuff around my house from 3-relationships ago. Some of it does have sentimental value, but I wouldn't hesitate to dump it if it my made my present relationship easier.

I'm positive he would freak-out if you did the same thing. And double standards don't workout in relationships. I would tell him straight up: the situation is over-the-top. I would be surprised if he doesn't correct his behavior, and handle things in a way that satisfies you.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (10 November 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntHe's offering her sofa set back to her, I don't see where that's a problem. Now, there doesn't need to be 10-12 emails exchanged over it..either she wants it back or not. Personally, I would take all of her things she would want back put it in a box and drop it off at her house. Then I would take the couch and drop it off at Goodwill or Salvation army. Problem solved.

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